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Theory on and truth of the concept of suicide

By , Pacifica, CA
Some people think of suicide as a way to get back on all those that have caused thm harm and as a way to get to be somewhere better. They are entirly wrong, the truth is that by comitting suicide thise who drove you to it are the winners, as well as society in general, the sugur coated s*** your led to beleive is all a lie, when your young most parents, teachers, and teluvision shows lead you to beleive in a promised land after death. This may or may not be true, but what is true ia that people who commit suicide or even attempt it are cowards in the eyes of many, I live my life day after day being bullied, I realized long ago tommorow wont be better, just the same bs repeared untill somone grows up, I personnaly was bearly forced to grow quickly when I was seven because my mom passed away of cancer unexpectedly, I became a soulless husk of a human, a pacifist, a sadist, then I became me when in 2007 I met my 1st true friend,I would die for her she is now like a sister to me, one day i walked into her house unannounced (I had a key because her parents trusted me and was supposed to be over an hour later to do home work but came there early to suprise her) and walked into the hallway twoards her room and heard a quiet crying. Because I knew she had been depressed for some time and couldnt get her to tell me why I was worried about her already so i opened the door and saw her getting ready to hang herself from her bed ( fancy victorian era style bed with the cloth curtain deal hung from a four post supported wood rectangle about 6 feet off the floor) she was facing away from me and mutering to herself somthing that I never got to here, she was standing on a 5gallon bucket on the side of her bed, I almost emiadiatly without thinking took the small buck knife i always carried then (even at school but as a tool not a weapon. That got destroyed in a later hunting accisent so now even in highschool i carry a leatherman charge ti on my belt to be allowed to carry it openly on campus i had to sign a legal contract and have a report filled out by my pshyciatrist [whos an idiot by the way] that explained I was "safe") and I walked over and quickly grabbed and cut the rope. Then I did somthing that even today I dont personally understand,I grabbed her by the shoulder and threw her to the ground then thouroughly beat her up abd then hugged her and cried for the first time since my mom died three years before, I mutter/cryed/screamed at her to never do that again or I'd kill her in a much more painfull way then kill myself just to make her afterlife hell, yeah back then I was a bit more unstable and batshit crazy than I am now. Since then I was able to get her to completely open up to me and found out why she was deppressed (part of a we never speak of this outside this building things ) and was able to remedy it and keep her happy, im just goddamned lucky that i was there to stop it, ive gone through worse stuff than most of the teenagers who commit suicide and never once has the thought of doing the same crossed my mind.
I conclude this peice here with a repetition of my most prominent beleif, Suicide is for cowards who cant handel the hell they've been delt and prefer to let those who cause their greif win and give up instead of fighting whats causing ithe problem, if there is a heaven and hell, theres definatly a deep dark nightmare pit in the ninth level reserved for those who commit suicide. That is all, that is my truth, and in the words of old whats his name "I may not agree with what you say but I will fight to the death for your right to say it"





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