I live in a constant battle. A battle with myself. Fighting daily to do the best, have the best, be the best. Sometimes I just want to fall; to bomb a test and get embarrassed at a concert, not be the genius. I just want to be average.
I don't have to be the starter, or the valedictorian, or first chair. I can be the follower, the second best; the failure for all I care. It's more about being me than being "that girl".
I am booked, scheduled, busy 24/7. I just want to hang out with friends, go to a movie, do nothing. But that's not life. Life is a contest; a never ending race. Death is the finishline. I just want to forfeit, drop out, forget about the prize, the fame and recognition.
My life is ending one minute at a time and I am determined to live it!