December 17, 2009
Cheryl kapan

Being fatherless doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In my experience it wasn’t. It taught me how to be independent on hard things that involved him to be here. It also taught me how to learn but of course my mom was there to teach me some things but not everything.
Life is hard and still gets harder. Most of the time I would think about quitting school just to help my mom out. I started growing up and started to realize that I need to go to school to get a good job. I grew up without a father because he passed away when I was six years old. It has been beyond a living hell but you have to stay strong and continue to know who you are. Let me introduce myself I am Cheryl Kapan. I am 15years old.
I live with my lone-parent AKA my mother. My father has been gone for almost a decade. I have gone through hell and some rough times. My mother is a widow. Before dad died they got a divorce because my dad abused drugs. Now there is violence instead of a father, there are arguments and fighting. My mother Helen, my sister Heather and I have some hurt feelings because of what my father did. But I didn’t know anything about that when I was six.

He left us, he killed himself. Most importantly he left my mother on her own with two kids that didn’t know better about anything. I’m happy she stayed strong. I see a lot of people without fathers dropping out of school, abusing drugs, and alcohol, joining gangs and teenage girls my age getting pregnant!

They do this just because they think that their life is over, there is nothing to live for. But it’s not true. There are a lot of things to live for: Your family, friends and loved ones. I thought to myself the same thing but now I found out that we all do have something to live for. Most lone-parents expect too much or have very high expectations of their children.

With us, fatherless children and teenagers it’s hard not to think of their fathers and be depressed and stressed. What I researched on civitas.com was that most of the fatherless kids suffer from depression, stress, emotional break downs, psychological problems, mental health problems, risk taking, and irresponsibility. They score poorly on tests of reading, mathematics, and half of the children try to run away from it all. But they try to escape from a feeling that could never go away. It was hard for me in school. I have trouble but it doesn’t mean that I can’t do it.

I read the Freedom Writers book and it showed me that I wasn’t alone out there. There are people going through the same thing as me. They really have it hard though most times harder than any of us who say we have a hell for a life. There can be a lot of problems from being fatherless like arguing with the lone parent. One teen writes “Since my father left I’ve always felt shunned and that it was my fault.”

Don’t try to do everything by yourself. I’ve tried doing that and messed everything up for myself. Take some help from the lone parent once in a while. But if you think you have to do something, just be safe, ask for advice and don’t make your life harder than it is already.
Just remember you’re not alone. There are people out there or in your family that want to help you get through the problems. Remember there are people out there that have it harder than you and don’t make a big deal of little things. If you put your mind to it and try hard you can make it out there. Good luck.

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