Not Even Friends?

July 28, 2009
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we have gone thorugh so much to not even be friends in the end. i always tried to keep him happy and finaly excepted we will never be more than just friends. now we arent even that. if i could make a change and take it all away right all worngs and start over again everyone knows i would but now i dont even get to do that. all second chances are used up and im drowning in the thought of losing the only thing we have left. talking to him always brightend up my days i guess they all have washed away. i could keep lying when i say my feelings arent still there but what would it matter anyway hes made it clear that after all this time he finaly doesnt care. i ignore him and he ignores me most days im just flat out desperate for him to stop and crack a smile at me even if he doesnt mean it i was just left in the dust because theres nothing there. im not sure how i could be hopless and stupid enough to let it all gets worse and worse everyday knowing that we're not even friends.

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