Sonata

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My life where I cant seem to make up my mind as to what I want.
Sure its normal for someone my age not to know what they are going to do with their life.
I just want to know I have a net to fall back on.

I hate how much your want hurts. How it hurts so much to think about what you could have, and the life you want to have. My dreams are so much bigger than they are allowed to go. They are soaring up in the clouds with the gods and goddesses of our time while i'm stuck down on the cool, hard earth that is reality.
And you really start to fear what is reality and what is pure fact of what is enevitable and that you want the unimaginable.
Yes Like everyone else I want to be more. Have MY chance at fame and glory, and have that scarey but strangely familiar dream of walking on that red carpet with everything and nothing to loose.
Hold onto those you hold dear, and say HA to those who ever doubted you. Because we are who we are. And if we wanted to, we could be whoever and whatever we wanted if we just wish hard enough on that first star in the night's sky, pray hard enough to God, hope hard enough on that penny we toss into that fountain. That we dance free enough in the rain, that we sing expressive enough with the perfect song.
When will those dreams come true? And where is that line between selfishness and selflessness? Where is the answer to all these questions? Just once I'd like to know. Where is our inspiration? The intensity of our thoughts, the color which spills over our everyday life, the utmost minscule detail in every waiting thing.

I've never really been a religous person. I dont go to church but am Christian. Its not what I believe in-God or Gods or a God or higher person above us, looking over us - whatever you choose to believe in . ITS FREE. But whatever we choose, as individuals choose, this is gives us just the start of the yellow brick road to follow , and have the freedom that is us, and in our special place in our mind. Home? Perhaps, or the small amount of peace we all need.

I hate how we just dont know. I guess thats how we learn.
We've always wondered, what it feels like when your dreams come true- like fireworks? The sweet satisfaction like a dark chocolate belgium truffle? The triumph where we feel like Ironman or Superman? The complete serenity of a sea after the storm?

When I find out. I'll let you know.





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