It is April 2020. Life has been shut down by an unknown virus. But in a world of turbulent monotony, she is the light; when the sun fails to illuminate your days, she is the star that you orbit. This—this is love. Your heart pulses with the bounce of her hickory brown curls, the dips of her dimples, and the flutter of her eyelashes. And every night, with soft smiles and curved lips, she tells you that she loves you…and her 20,000 other live viewers. 

Three years since Covid-19 stopped the world, social scientists are still assessing what many fear marks a permanent change in our social bonding. It is a phenomenon known as the parasocial relationship, describing non-reciprocal psychological connections viewers form with media figures such as influencers and celebrities. With the rise of streaming, viewers are able to be closer than ever with their favorite Internet personalities, watching and interacting with them in real time. Combined with the sharp increase in social isolation from the pandemic, it’s no surprise that more people are getting attached to these influencers. But if, logically, we understand that these connections are one-sided, then why are so many of us affected?

A 2022 study (link: researchgate.net/profile/Elly-Konijn/publication/314711658_Parasocial_Interaction_and_Beyond_Media_Personae_and_Affective_Bonding/links/59e9f6984585151983c7dcf3/Parasocial-Interaction-and-Beyond-Media-Personae-and-Affective-Bonding.pdf) presents the idea of affective bonding theory, stating that the brain is hardwired to respond to any kind of human-like social connection. It doesn’t matter if these interactions are real or imaginary—the mind treats them as identical. Dr. Livia Tomova, a research associate from Cambridge University, found a connection in brain activity between social isolation and hunger cravings. In the study (link: news.mit.edu/2020/hunger-social-cravings-neuroscience-1123), MRI results of subjects who were isolated for a period of ten hours showed an increase in activity in the substantia nigra, a part of the brain responsible for chemical signaling that affects the production of dopamine. This activity was similar to that caused by hunger and drug cravings, with the dopamine response mirroring the positive feeling one would get from eating a meal after fasting. This craving, heightened by the onset of isolation from the pandemic, feeds into the stable source of social connection provided by streaming, causing a rise in the quantity and intensity of parasocial relationships.

Beneficial for those socially isolated by the pandemic, parasocial relationships are proven to stave off loneliness, creating a sense of community and companionship. But with society opening up again, problems start to arise when parasocial relationships begin to take the place of real connection. Dr. Cynthia Hoffner, professor of psychology at Georgia State University, warns that these relationships can promote feelings of anxiety and loneliness, and have been connected to depressive symptoms (link: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30465614/). More accessible and lower-risk than actual social interaction, forming parasocial relationships from the comfort of your home without the scrutiny that comes from meeting with others may seem like an advantage to those who are lonely. These relationships, however, are less fulfilling than actual human connection. 

For continued mental well-being, it may be advisable for romance seekers to stick with pixels that do know you exist.