Dear American teenage girls, 

  Many individuals are so preoccupied with living their lives as freely as they can. Many individuals in the U.S. don't have to worry about being coerced into doing something significant against their will, like getting married, for example. We fail to realize how much freedom we actually receive here in the U.S. I think many people don't understand or sometimes forget that the world is bigger than just America. That other nations do not enjoy the same independence as Americans. They are not given the chance to receive a high-quality, compulsory education. They lack the independence and level of care that are afforded to us here in the United States. I think it's crucial to educate ourselves about events taking place in nations other than your own. It's important to comprehend what's happening and how fortunate and favored we are in comparison to others. In the United States, women weren't liberated until relatively recently. Only in 1919 did Congress approve the 19th amendment, which gave women the right to vote. a little bit more than a century ago. Which, if you stop to think about it, wasn't actually that long ago. Even though we still face issues with sexism and equality, such as Roe v. Wade, we united as a country and battled for our rights. We should cease dividing ourselves into different nations because at the end of the day we all are people of earth and share one earth together. I think it’s time we band together to battle for women's rights in other countries, as we did in our own. 

As a 16 year old , now living in the U.S. let me tell you a little about myself and my story, as an immigrant. Given my name, you may already be aware of this. I'm south Asian, and up until the age of seven, I spent my entire life in Pakistan. One of my greatest concerns as a young South Asian woman—and one I still have today—is child or forced marriage. All throughout the year in Pakistan, there would be weddings one after the other. From both my mom and dads side of the family, but I particularly recall attending weddings on my dad's side of the family because they weren't as fortunate as my mom's side of the family. Observing brides who weren't all that much older than I was, I was perplexed as to why they even carried the title of "Bride."  Wondering if one day I would have to be a child bride as well. After moving to America, I understood that child marriage was out of the question for me, but planned or forced marriage was still a possibility. I relocated here almost ten years ago, and two weeks ago, on March 16, I turned sixteen. In most South Asian countries, girls typically get married between the ages of 13 and 17. My dad, more so than my mother, would have already chosen someone for me if I were still in Pakistan at this age, but since I am here, I'm pretty confident that's not the case. When you graduate from college, according to my father, "I'm going to find a man worthy of you." I'm fairly certain that if I had been performing poorly in school, my father would have sent me back by now, and I would have already had a Nikkah.

They won't be forcing me into a planned marriage any time soon, thank goodness, because I'm doing well in school. I was fortunate in contrast to many girls in South Asia who, as I previously stated, get married off very young for the simple reason that their parents or other caregivers can't take care of them, though occasionally they can but choose not to. One excellent illustration of that particular circumstance is Mariam's story from "A Thousand Splendid Suns." Mariam's father Jalil had plenty of rooms she could have remained in and was more than capable of supporting and raising Mariam. However, after only a week and a half of her stay at his home, Jalil married Mariam off to a man who was between 40 and 50 years older than her. In South Asia, many parents and caregivers of young women act similarly to Jalil; they have the means to support the woman but choose not to. However, the family simply cannot support the woman and marry her most of the time, to take the burden off of them. I wasn't particularly shocked that my peers didn't have any background knowledge on the subject after reading the book's back description when they chose to read "A Thousand Splendid Suns" with me for a class book club. I was most shocked by how much they enjoyed the subject and how suddenly interested they became in it, as well as by some of the words that were used in the novel, like "Jinn," for instance. To which I was forced to give a detailed explanation of both its meaning and what it was. Since I witnessed many of the events described in the book firsthand, I was genuinely delighted that they had shown interest in it. I also adored how they responded to some of the injustices that women in the novel had to endure just because they were female.  (their jaws were on the floor) Which is exactly the response you should have after hearing about their heartbreaking stories. 

My female acquaintances occasionally gripe about how their parents won't let them attend a party, how they have later work, or how much they hate going to school. This and that, and I occasionally remind them of how fortunate they are to be able to ask their parents for permission to attend a party or to have a job and be able to make money in addition to receiving a free mandatory education. I make sure to remind them because I know how many females would kill to even have the opportunity to even have one of those things. "Women are members of other families, they aren't yours," says a proverb in South Asia. You spend a lot of time, money, and effort on them just so they can find husbands and join other households after getting married. Our job is to raise them for their families. Men, on the other hand, remain with their families after being born into them, providing for them and adding new family members in the form of "housewives' ' who assist his birth family. in order to maintain the bloodline. Due to their own blood's neglect, the majority of these females are forced into marriage. They are considered to be objects that belong to other individuals. Comparing them to the males, they are thought to be "useless." Men can support their families with money, a roof over their heads, sustenance, etc. But, if a woman doesn't receive a good education, or the majority of the time. Women are taken out of school to be married off, whereupon they are made to be housewives and neglected by both the spouse and his family. That's exactly why I make sure to remind my friends how lucky they are. A brief video on YouTube does a great job of illustrating all of this. 

“Child Marriage in india: Teenage girls forced to marry” This brief video covers a lot of ground. Additionally, two young women were questioned about their experiences with child marriage and forced unions. For many girls, education is the only escape or source of security, unlike in the U.S. where we do not appreciate its value and consider it a “prison’’. For example, due to their precarious circumstances, these girls had to rely entirely on their school's principal to keep them secure and prevent their families from forcing them into child marriages. The fact that the girls' school principal is more concerned about them than their own families or parents is extremely sad. Priyanka, one of the girls who was questioned, recently turned 15 and has been experiencing pressure from her family to get married despite her disinterest. She ensures that she never misses a day. Her grandmother and uncle nearly forced Priyanka into marriage by saying, "Marriage will be good for your well-being Priyanaka." After Priyanka informed them that she wanted to continue her education and get married after turning 18, her family, of course, didn't listen nor pay attention to what she wanted. Priyanka had to go to her school's principal as a result. Although the principal of her school warned her family against child marriage, they evidently chose not to heed. In order to prevent Priyanka from marrying a guy significantly older than herself, her principal was compelled to attend her wedding along with the police. They were able to halt the ceremony. Now Priyanaka has to deal with burdening herself on her family. She states “Right after they stopped my wedding, My principal proposed that I check into a hostel. And since my family is determined to drive me out of the house, my grandmother continues asking me to ask my principal about the hostel so I can go there and remain. It's not my favorite place to live. Every day, they mistreat and humiliate me.” Although I'm happy Priyanka didn't get married off, she now has to live with her family's daily domestic abuse. In the United States, 18 is the age at which you are no longer legally dependent on your parents, but in other countries, it makes no difference if you are 18 or younger. They will make sure you are aware of it if you are a nuisance to your family. Like Priyanka's family, they will try to get rid of you whether that's through a wedding or a hostel. Later on, In the short documentary.  Ismorah and her mother are presented to the audience. Ismorah was actually wed off at the age of 15, just like Priyanka. Ismorah's mother talked for the majority of their interview and omitted a lot of crucial information, so she was taken for a stroll outside. She omitted, for instance, the truth that they married Ismorah off out of fear that she would flee with a boy from her neighborhood who was in love with her but whose parents forbade him from marrying Ismorah. Ismorah states “They cursed and hit me. The abuse would cease, they assured me, once I agreed to get married. That they would be able to save face in society. They feared that if I ran away with the boy, people in the community would say things like, “Look, their daughter ran away.” They asked me if I wanted to disrespect my  family. I said no. I told them I would get married, wherever my parents wanted me to.” They basically abused Ismorah till she had to say yes to child marriage. On the night of Ismorahs wedding the cops showed up, they asked how old Ismorah was and her father answered saying she was 17. So the cops left and Ismorah was married off that night. Ismorah was abused and neglected into divorce by her now ex-husband and his family. An is now left with a lifetime trauma. “I felt disgusted because my parents married me off so young,” said Ismorah. The cops not looking more into Ismorahs age and just going by her dads word is something that would never happen in the U.S. We are so lucky to immediately receive help, as soon as we dial 911. 

 Despite the stark differences in their respective stories, both of these females experienced the same issue. Because her principal intervened, Priyanka's nuptials could not go ahead. She avoided getting hitched, but at what price? Her grandmother and relatives regularly mistreat and neglect her. Her grandmother is constantly urging her to speak with her principal about sending her to reside in a hostel. To get rid of her. She is only 15 years old, poor child. Ismorah was less fortunate, as she was married off because the police didn't bother to check her age. They merely trusted what her father told them. She was married off and daily subjected to abuse and neglect from her spouse and his family. then obtained a divorce and got left with lifelong trauma. I'm really happy Ismorah left the abusive union before the child would have bound her to him for the rest of her life. Although these girls were both unfortunate and fortunate, many young women aren't. Like Mariam, who was killed when she attempted to leave an abusive marriage after being married off at the age of 15. Mariam wasted her entire life with the abusive spouse. Marriage is a long-term life commitment to an individual; it is not something that can be done lightly. to create a new family, to support and sustain an existing family. They are too immature for those things. Their bodies are not designed to have children at such an early age. or to find out how much tension a marriage involves. In South Asia, millions of adolescent girls unfortunately live in this reality. Which is why I think it's so crucial to understand what other people are going through. People often grumble about things instead of being grateful for what they already have. Donations are one of the many methods you can support these young women. HELPING CHILDREN IN CRISIS is an excellent and helpful organization that assists South Asian children in times of crisis, child marriage being the main one. I think simply becoming aware of the inequalities they experience every day and raising awareness of them is enough. Allowing people to hear and understand their stories is far more than enough to give these young women some measure of justice. I hope this letter clarified things for you and introduced you to a topic you were unaware of.

Best regards,

Zulaikha