I don't know a whole lot. I sometimes forget what x+5y is, and I also sometimes don't remember who created the Declaration. FYI, George Washington, Hamilton, Adams, Franklin, and many others. And I don't know how many stars there are in the universe.
But I do know this, x+5y are numbers and letters combined, to have a solution I could only guess the answer to. I know there are stars out there in the solar system, and I only could imagine what they look like, and how they shine. Sitting up there in the black nothingness, while we sit here on our planet full of life.
And I know that those brave men who created the Declaration, had a dream. A dream to make a country where everyone can be what they want, when they want and how they want. A place unlike any other. A place to call home not just for themselves but for their children and their children's children.
I have been told that I am the next generation, that I, along with everyone else my age, will inherit the earth, the place I live, and a place we have to make better. I have no idea how to do it. I'm nothing but some white, middle class, Kirkwood girl that doesn't know a whole lot, but wants to. I want to know what x+5y is, and everyone who made the declaration, and the stars in the solar system. But what I really want to know, is how to fix everything.
That's a broad question, and unfortunately a question that can't be answered. My dad once told me You have to pick your little corner of the world, and try to make it better. Now, that's just my problem. I can't pick a corner!
I think of the world as a spider web, with no corners or sides, just an awkward shape with a whole lot of holes and tears. A whole lot of pain. Sometimes I feel I'm the only one who wants to fix everything. But maybe that's because I go to school with middle schoolers. I go to school with people who just want to walk around in their Nike shoes and Vineyard Vines shirts, go to Starbucks, and live in their own augmented reality. I don't. I want to live in a place where anyone can walk around in anything they want, and still care about the world.
That's my step one. I see the pain packed within the walls and halls of my school. Of all schools. "Oh it's normal" they say "kids are cruel" well yeah, yeah kids are cruel. I know, I above anyone would know, because I basically live there. I sit in the rooms, and listen to the same crude calls made by the teachers and supposedly obeyed by the students "treat everyone the way you want to be treated" the problem is that fifty percent of the time we hear it, and the other fifty percent we don't follow it. Because we live in a world where people can get shot for just having brown skin and walking away with a hood on. We live in a world where people are told not to marry because you're not in a normal marriage. Because you're gay, or black, or Muslim, or anything else that separates you from white Kirkwood kids with their Nike shoes and Vineyard Vines shirts. I know that. There are so many problems, and so many questions, it makes my head spin like a tornado in the springtime. I don't know how to fix everything, I'm only a kid. A kid who once said to someone "I like this girl" and this person said "that's disgusting." They aren't wrong when they say kids are cruel. But they are wrong when they say that can't change.
It takes us back to step one. Step one starts with us, with solving human problems. Because we are humans, we all need love, and compassion, and we al, need to be able to trust one another. So when a black kid walks past a white kid, all anyone sees are just two kids. In order to fix this world, we must first fix ourselves. I must be able to be me, and they must be able to be they, and you must be able to be you. Because if we aren't really being ourselves, then we're all just strangers. Strangers walking around this world wondering how many stars are in the universe, but can't find out because we lost that part of us.
If I haven't explained it enough, I will try to now. People are mean, not just kids, we all are. We are all mean without thinking it sometimes. I know I can be. But I also know love, I know how strong love is, it is the glue that holds humanity together, and once we lose our love for one another, we lose our society. We lose the dream that the founding fathers had for us. We need to stop. We must stop being afraid to ask questions, to ask how many stars are in the universe, because even if we don't know now, we can know someday.
This is why I choose to write, because if I don't now, who will? I leave you with one goal, tomorrow, tell someone that you love them. Tell that kid with the funny hair and awkward smile that you like their shoes. A little kindness goes a long way. If you aren't in school, say it to a co-worker. Please. Show the love we all have, for one another. Because it does exist.
I don't know a lot. I sometimes forget what x+5y is. You may to. But never forget this: we are humans, not people, we can't be people without being humans first. Don't be afraid anymore, just be you, believe that sometimes you may be the only one believing in you. But hey, at least you have you. There will come the days you find someone who says they love you, so don't be afraid to say you love them to. Never stop asking how many stars there are in the universe. Because someday you will find out.