Feminism | Teen Ink

Feminism

June 2, 2016
By godofthewild BRONZE, Fair Oaks, California
godofthewild BRONZE, Fair Oaks, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

A woman is planning on preparing a traditional dish of her people- Al Haysa, a special dessert. She has managed to find all of the ingredients but one- the special ingredient from her mother’s recipe. The problem is, no local market has it, and if she could, she would drive farther out from her house to search for it. But there's a problem- she can’t legally drive, along with every other woman and girl in Saudi Arabia. She’ll have to wait until her husband returns home from work.

 

A young girl in Liberia lives her life in fear, terrified of her own family. She knows that sometime soon, they will force her into Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). It’s what happened to her mother, and her two sisters, and soon her. She knows she can't avoid it- it’s her entire culture- but that doesn’t mean she’ll accept it.
It’s lunchtime in a middle school cafeteria, and a group of friends, all girls, are sitting together at a table, talking and laughing and eating. A teacher walks up, and everyone at the table stops in their conversation to look at them. This teacher looks around the table at each person, and then says, “Girls, you’re all out of dress code.”


Confused, each student looks around at each other and then back at the teacher. None of them were out of dress code, as far as they could tell. “Your bra straps are showing,” the teacher continues. “This is a warning. Do it again, and I’ll have to put it on your record. And you’re lucky- other teachers won't be as nice as me about this.”


Each of the girls has a similar look on their faces- utter bewilderment and bafflement. One of them is brazen enough to speak up- “Oh no- I’m a middle school girl who wears a bra. Who knew? I just don’t see the problem.” Yeah, maybe it was rude. But this girl has seen too many perfectly nice kids get in trouble because of insignificant dress code rules that shouldn't exist.


The teacher has an immediate reply. “It’ll distract the boys in your class from their work. You’ll have to either fix it somehow or wear a jacket.”


And that’s the end of it- the student knows that people who think like this are close-minded and misled by society’s standards (the ones that say girls have to fix themselves so as to not distract the boys, rather than the boys being taught to be mature and actually decent). And the student knows this because she, like many others at her table full of diversity and understanding, is a feminist.

 

What is feminism?

I asked many people questions about feminism. All of the people I had asked that said they were feminist answered correctly when I asked them to define feminism in their own words. However, people who weren’t feminists gave the wrong answer. They said that feminism is either looking down on men or boosting women to be better off than men. One said “How women are compared to men in ability”- this is not correct.
The definition of feminism is the support of women’s rights for political, social, and economic equality to men. It is not contempt for or having prejudice against men- that is called misandry. And although there are some people who call themselves feminists who are actually misandrists, not many do.


When I asked people what problems they faced as a feminist, they all had similar answers. One respondent had said, “People automatically assume that I'm a bossy "feminazi" who's solely focused on gaining female supremacy.” Another said “People thinking I hate men.” Both of these stereotypes are based not based off of true feminism. Sure, maybe some ‘feminists’ fit these descriptions. But those who do are misandrists, not true feminists.


One of the respondents’ answer to the same question had been “Many people ridiculing the idea of feminism, giving it no respect and not further understanding what it really is.” People have a habit of taking something they hear around and seeing it as fact when it is not. That is what happened to make so many people prejudice against feminists.


The same person who had defined feminism as “How women are compared to men in ability” also said that feminism wasn’t necessary- and here’s their reason why; “Feminism isn’t necessary since it's a group of people or a person that wants to identify a gender based on its capabilities.” This person is misinformed, and is mistaking feminism as misandry.


The truth is, while there are no true feminists who are misandrists, they are the ones that come across strongly and leave the strongest mark. Feminism is constantly being ignored, pushed aside, and just downright crushed just because of a few misandrists thrown into the mix. In fact, many people who are feminists do not call themselves so because they either do not want to be associated with the stereotypes that come with the word, or because they do not understand what it truly means to be a feminist.


I asked people if they were a feminist or not, but what I did not ask is why or why not, because though there are many great answers to why you’re a feminist, there is only one correct answer to why you’re not one. That answer is that you do not believe in equality between the sexes. Other answers such as “I like men” and “I’m not against men” are very, very wrong.


What it means to be a feminist is simple; you are a person who fights for women's rights to be equal to men's. It does not mean that you do not like men. It does not mean that you are a “feminazi”. It does not mean that you have ingrained prejudice against men. Feminism is not a fight against men- it is a fight for women, against misogyny.


Misogyny is the female equivalent of misandry. It is having prejudice against or contempt for women. It is what feminism is rival to, not men. Just as feminists are not limited to women, misandrists and misogynists are not limited to either or any sex. Feminists are not waging war against men, or anyone else, and they are not saying that all men, or all people, are misogynists or just prejudice against women. What feminists are doing is protecting the rights of women, and trying to eliminate society’s view on the female sex in general.
Feminism is a fight against society’s standards, stereotypes, prejudice, contempt, and bias against women. Feminism is a fight for equality, respect, appropriate treatment, and it is especially a fight for women.

 

Why is it needed?

Just as misogyny has an equivalent, misandry, feminism has one as well- masculism. However, many people have never heard the term used before, and yet they have heard of feminism. Here’s why; feminism is a fight for women, who need better treatment and more rights. Masculism is a fight for the same things for men, who do not need it.


To put it simply, feminism is needed because women are being undermined and mistreated solely because of their gender. But the truth is, although the basics of it are some of the most simple concepts possible, feminism and the reasons why it is important are far from simple.


Women have always been the supporters, whether they liked it or not. They were the ones that were looked upon for household chores and raising children. They were the ones that went to school less because families put more importance on sons. They always have been.


Although the big, obvious discriminatory things against women are eliminated in western civilizations and less common in other places worldwide, there is still discrimination against women everywhere, if you just bother to look close enough. In the United States, although there are women that hold high public offices or own big businesses, there are far less of them than there are men. In the short stories that were mentioned at the start of this article, a group of girls is told that they need to “dress more appropriately” in school so as to “not distract the boys”.


The other two short stories took place in Saudi Arabia, where women cannot drive, and Liberia, where it is part of their culture to force girls into Female Genital Mutilation. These two subjects are much bigger than a middle school dress code, and are huge reasons why feminists are needed. However, such extreme cases of discrimination are not common and are well known to be something that has to be stopped.


It’s the little things- dress codes for school, stereotypes, camouflaged prejudice- that are for feminists to stop. That are why feminists are needed. It’s the fact that girls are warned from a young age by their parents that they cannot be out late at night, for safety, while they watch the same people tell their brothers to go out and have fun at night. It’s the fact that I once saw a sign in a store window that said, “Girls, walk like a man is behind you” and my first thought was of myself, frantically running/walking while glancing over my shoulder nervously.


It’s that if you wear shorts that are ‘too long’, you’re a prude, but if you wear shorts that are ‘too short’ you’re a s***. It’s that your shorts being ‘too long’ or ‘too short’ is based off of the pleasure of a man. It’s the fact that rather than rapists being convicted, the victim gets shamed because she was dressed in a way that was ‘asking for it’. It’s the fact that if a boy stares at a girl, she gets asked to dress more appropriately, rather than the parent being told to raise their child to be a better person.


One person had told me that they’d seen “Males doing things like slapping a girls butt and laughing or calling girls s***s or hoes because of what they decide to wear” Another said “Women's ideas and thoughts and arguments are still somehow not recognized or appreciated like those of a man. One respondent said, ”As a female, I'm expected by society to be "feminine" and wear makeup and be skinny and beautiful.”

 

It’s things like that that make feminism necessary, and it’s also so much more. One person had told me “Feminism reminds me that it's okay to stick up for myself and I never do that ever so it helps”.  I asked many people if they thought feminism was necessary, and all of them that said the right definition of feminism said yes. When I asked why they said so, I got many great responses such as “It is important for the world to be aware of and acknowledge the need for equality among the sexes,” and “It gives people a voice and it is necessary people stand up for what they believe in.“ Someone also said “It shows certain people that women can do just as much as men.”


One of the respondents had said, “Because there are so many girls out there getting told that they aren't strong. And there are just as many boys getting told, "You hit like a girl!" But, tell me what the hell is so wrong with hitting like a girl? We are so so underrated as part of the human race and I, as a feminist, refuse to let it take hold of my life. The way I think of it; any guy would be lucky if they could "hit like a girl" because we're freakin awesome. And not only that, but we need [feminism] to survive, honestly. Without the strong men, women, and anyone in between, that support women's rights, we could very well just be slaves to our spouses, forced to survive in a living hell. Also, it's necessary because of the fact that women to this day are still treated like a product, a toy, just something that you can grab and slap because it makes your little mid-pubescent heart get tingly. But we aren't. We are people and feminism helps people to understand this fact. And it gives evidence that girls can use against people who say we over react or that we need to "calm down." And that is why I don't just think, but KNOW that feminism is necessary.”


That, right there, is a wonderful explanation of why feminism is needed, because it truly is needed. Feminism is a fight for equality, not for supremacy. Feminists are a band of people, not necessarily women, who believe in equal right and treatment for women. Feminism is a movement that has changed the world, and that is still changing it. Feminism is imperative, and important, and misunderstood. But now you understand, hopefully, what it is and what it is about, and why, in this corrupted, chaotic world we live in, it is a beacon of hope.

 

“We are all humans on this planet together, and treating each other unfairly based on ANY type of trait is unacceptable. That's all there is to it.”


The author's comments:

I have experienced alot of prejudice against women in my lifetime, and I have also experienced prejudice against feminists in particular. I have learned that most people who have negative feelings towards feminism simply do not understand it, and I wrote this to clarify.


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