Recently, there has been a backlash against the feminist movement and it’s called… meninism (pronounced as: puh-thet-ik). Some women have been worried because meninism supports the already-existing patriarchy. For instance, feminists argue that they earn 77 cents to a male dollar. The atrocity! How dare these feminists try to lower male wages down to a dollar. Males must be dominant for there to be equality, because they are the better and gifted sex. For some reason, I’m reminded of Nazis.

So, fellow women, in addition to this completely logical argument that they support, there is a shining positive to the meninist movement. Because the meninists comprise mostly of white, straight, and privileged men, the sale in meninist merchandise is up a 1000%, compared to the activity in men’s movements such as in transgender men’s rights, gay men’s rights, and disadvantaged men’s rights at a -1000% rate, combined. Because of this unnecessary, gruesomely capitalistic spending that could be spent donating to any of the charities that sponsor the previously mentioned rights, it’s easy to spot meninists on your morning ride to your executive but blue-collar-wage position by their meninist sweatshirts, which sport flashy red labels with MENINIST written in white block letters. The designer of meninist sweatshirts commented that it had almost turned out to be a disaster—the red had been so close to being a shade too pink, which would’ve been too feminine and weak to properly display the oppression and struggles of the patriarchy. The red turned out fine in the end though, the perfect shade to match with their $20 Nike Elites.

So let’s thank the meninists, for showing us exactly who not to date. I guess we women just don’t prefer oppressed men.