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Starving for your art: a generational conundrum

Starving for your art, everyone has heard this phrase at one point or another. Whether said admiringly, condescendingly or as a warning this saying is a household staple. I was always a person who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life, I was five years old when I decided I wanted to be a doctor, and in the next eight years I never doubted my path or wanted to change my mind. But as I got older my interests began to change and I came to the realization that I no longer wish to pursue a career in medicine. After this realization, I went through several professions but eventually I landed on journalist.


When I informed my friends and relatives of my career choice, I got a mixed reaction. Between several warnings, a few condescending looks and a tad of admiration was a confused teenager. Before revealing my choice I was set in my ways, I was sure that I had found what I wanted to do with my life. But after hearing the discouragement I was once again shadowed by doubt. I am a person who likes to believe I am not a crowd follower or somebody who cares what people think; but truth be told, I do. I like to please people; teachers, peers and parents. I do live my life for myself but it makes me happy to see other people happy. Seeing my parents and teachers disapprove of my career choice drove the final nail into the coffin of Journalism.


My next endeavor was screenwriter; I began writing excessive amounts of Fanfiction in attempt to develop my dialogue. But as my Fanfiction obsession died, my passion for screenplays dwindled and segued into a desire to join a pit orchestra as a flutist. My dream was to be on Broadway, but not in the way most would expect; instead I wanted to sit below the stage with the swell of passionate music and feel the rush of emotion serge through me. I wanted to hear the swirls of woodwinds over the tremble of the bass, the sopranos singing in glory as the music melds into the audience. My short-lived desire was once again squashed by a pressing economy and a dose of reality.


After my many phases I am still not quite sure what I will be when I get older. But I’ve learned that maybe the truest dose of reality was in the words of John Lennon, “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” I’ve chosen to follow this quote and live life to it’s fullest, whether I’m a Doctor or screenwriter I want to be happy.



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