What is Winning

January 26, 2011
A boy sits alone in a corner. A group of older boys, about ten years old, surround him. Names are rudely thrown at the victim, and he runs home crying.
As high school approaches, the boy still is inflicted with rude comments and name calling. He has become isolated in a state of spacing out from the rest of his peers.
By sophomore year, he has had enough. Punches are thrown, and the bully goes to the hospital with a broken nose, while the boy sits in the dean’s office awaiting punishment.
As his parents talk inside the office, the boy sits on the chair watching the ground. A smirk is wiped across his face as his bruised hands pulse with triumph. Let the punishment be what it may, the boy thinks to himself. And he is sent home with a smile.
I have led my life in a quiet direction; the path where a passive person can feel comfortable. I had been surrounded by opinionated knick-knacks, battling out at one another over pointless issues that never make matters any better. I choose to stay out of these situations. The point being, hurting an enemy is never truly winning, it’s you stomping on a victim you do not even thoroughly know or understand. And that is a problem.
You may think that a set of words used correctly can instantly solve a problem, but when another throws it right back at you, it turns into a quarrel. And someone ends up going home hurt, physically OR mentally. That is not winning, and definitely not a fair resolution.
What the boy felt was a sense of pride in his accomplishment after standing up to the bully, but what he did not think through was that he never had a chance to reason with that person.
The bully in fact held a very poor home-life. His mother was a drunk, his father nowhere to be found. Walking through his shoes would feel like a nightmare on its own, and if the boy felt this, he would’ve felt the same.
I resort to the positive; simply ignoring the bullies. From time to time, they may find a way around my solitude and break me down. But that only builds me stronger in the end.
The bully’s actions were not just, but it was surely something he had not thought through, he wanted a sense of dignity. The boy on the other hand, became violent, and his resolve was to lash out and take the iron giant down. Now what? You hurt a person, do they forgive you? Possibly, but the scars will always stay.

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