Too Different?

January 16, 2011
By , Fortuna, CA
Too different ?

Everyone is different, but am I weirdly different? I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere, in any clique or category. That doesn’t stop people from writing me off as the innocent good girl. Yes, I’m innocent. I don’t drink, or do drugs, and I’m a virgin. I’m very different than most girls in general, but I’m especially different for a teenager. I don’t like to go to dances and my list of life crushes is extremely small. I tend to keep myself reserved, afraid that people will reject me. People assume too much about me, only seeing a small part of who I truly am.

I’m not a girly girl, or a tomboy, or a rebel. I’m not an outstanding student and I don’t follow all the rules. I do get good grades and love to read. I do listen to rock and alternative nonstop. I do go to church and say grace, but I also have a lip piercing and cuss when I play videogames. I wear skinny jeans and converse and may act like a guy, but I wear makeup and can’t burp to save my life. I’m open minded but stick to by gut. I’m easy going and love to laugh and joke around. I love the “weirdoes” and “nerds” because they have the balls to be who they are. But who am I?

This good girl persona has led people to believe that I’m boring, that I never break any rules. I’m a good girl, I know that, but I’m still a teenager. I cuss; I get in trouble, and make stupid crazy choices. Lucky for me, I’ve been smart enough to make the right choice for big decisions on my own. So why am I looked down upon from my peers? Two questions I always ask myself are why do guys not want to date me and girls not want to hang out with me? Those questions are irrelevant to me now. I don’t know who I am, but I know what I stand for. I don’t have a huge group of friend or have guys lining up to date me, but I do have my small group of “weirdoes” and “nerds” that I love. I might not be accepted for being myself, but I won’t keep it hidden anymore. And most of all, I won’t let other peoples opinion affect who I am, because they can think what they what, think I’m a boring good girl. I know what I am and what I am not. And one day, I will find a guy who will love me for me….every part of me.

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