What it is like to live with Aspergers Syndrome | Teen Ink

What it is like to live with Aspergers Syndrome

January 3, 2010
By Anonymous

I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 9 years old, but have probably have had it since I was born 17 years ago. At that time, I didn’t even know what Aspergers was, but I have learned what it is. Aspergers is a developmental disorder within the autism spectrum. Living with Aspergers, I’ll say, is not very much fun. Actually, it is really annoying to have such a disability. Having Aspergers can cause me to get angry or confused very easily. I can get so angry when my parents tell me to do something, especially if I am in the middle of doing something else. When I was a lot younger, and still today, I have a hard time understanding what the teacher is explaining. Most of the time my grandmother tries to explain the homework to make it more easier for me to do. Sometimes, when I am doing one thing, I am thinking of another thing like I can’t even spell today.

Another thing I do is that, whenever I am standing around waiting in line at a grocery store or somewhere like that, I have a tendency to sway back and forth, or rock side to side. I think I do that because I am really bored, and I don’t’ want to be standing there doing nothing. I don’t even know I’m doing it until someone tells me. I know it probably looks weird but, it soothes me. Of course, people stare at me whenever I do it, and I feel like saying to them, “I have Aspergers, I can‘t help it.” Sometimes when I get nervous I start talking and talking and can’t quiet down.

Another bad thing with Aspergers is that, I have a very hard time conversing with others; teens, my therapists, and sometimes even my family. My friend Maria is 1½ years older than I am, and I have a hard time communicating with her. I’ll say, “Hey, what’s up?” She’ll say, “Okay”, and that’s the end of my conversation. Even if I practice ahead of time someone has to help me out by saying things like, “Don’t you want to ask Maria how school is?”, or ask her “What’s she been doing since the last time you saw her?” Then I will start up and then it of course, it stops again.

I really want to have a boyfriend badly, but unfortunately I don’t have one, and sometimes I do silly stuff for boys to notice me and that doesn‘t work. For instance, there is a boy whom I have a huge crush on and I am always so excited to see him. However, when he shows up, instead of talking to him I go and break up twigs in the front yard!
There is a prom each year for teens that are home schooled. I didn’t get to go last year because I didn’t have anyone to go with. Classmates at school kept saying, “You should go, you’ll have a good time”. However, no one asked me to join their group.

Even boys who are like me don’t ask me out! For example, I went to a classmate’s Bat Mitzvah, and I gave a ride to a boy whom I think has autism because he acts just like me; I was so excited, but I couldn’t say one thing to him! My grandmother helped me make a list of things to talk about, but I just couldn’t do it. As soon as he got out of the car, he couldn’t get to the popular kids fast enough. Of course, they ignored him. Go figure!

Sometimes I just wish that I was a normal teen living a normal life. I hate having disabilities; it makes me feel like a very ill teen that can’t get better no matter how hard I try, even though people say I have come a long way. It has taken me 8 years of lessons to learn how to swim. Now, once I get into the water you can’t get me out. I have learned to love swimming. It is now one of my favorite hobbies. It has also taken me 10 years to learn how to ride a bike. I love biking now as well. I still don’t know how to ice skate or roller skate yet, but I am still learning. Having Aspergers also makes me feel like I am a very illogical person that doesn’t know much about anything, and always acts weird. I wonder will I ever get better or will I always be a weird kid with disabilities.

The author's comments:
This story that I wrote is who I am. This is a true story, I do have Aspergers Syndrome.

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This article has 71 comments.


on Jun. 4 2012 at 11:55 pm
Oh my god I'm so sorry.

on Jun. 4 2012 at 11:53 pm
I'm sorry, ;( please reply (I'll get an account soon) and we can talk about it. I have asbergers too and would love to have another person to relate to also.

on Jun. 4 2012 at 11:51 pm
That's awesome :)

on Apr. 21 2012 at 6:42 pm
AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
3 articles 5 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's Block is when your characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike." -- Anonomous
"A Writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."--Thomas Mann

Wow.  This was an incredible read.  You're a great writer.  I don't pretend to have any experience in this area, but from what you say hear, and from the clarity with which you say it, I wonder if you might have more success talking to that boy by writing to him.  At least at first.  That way, by the time one of you builds up the courage to ask the other out, you might be more comfortable talking to him in person.

on Apr. 21 2012 at 1:28 am
i_am_so_very_large_and_towering SILVER, Mililani, Hawaii
5 articles 1 photo 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"

this is such a wonderful article:) good luck with everything . . . you sound like an amazing person!!! 5 stars for sure.

M.Reader said...
on Mar. 30 2012 at 9:00 pm
M.Reader, Portland, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
Translated into French - La folie: répéter la même chose plusieurs fois et attendre des résultats différents.

I have Asperger's as well, but I like to think that I've gradually been getting better socially. I'm certainly not perfect, though, and I know exactly how you feel about shyness! I used to hide under desks; however, my 5th grade teacher, Cédric Strapart, (he's Belgian) succeeded in getting me out from under there, and treated me like one of his normal students. And when he took us on a two-week trip to Paris later during that same year, I was ready to interact with five penpals, and I quickly made friends with them. Since that time, I've also quit rocking and rolling to relieve stress, and have found other ways to do the same thing, like telling stories to myself inside of my head. And although I haven’t had much of a love life yet, I’m hoping to have one someday, and you should really talk to the guy that you like. And finally, important and famous people, such as Thomas Jefferson, the guy who wrote our Declaration of Independence, may have had Asperger's as well. So, why do you call yourself "disabled" and "weird" instead of "able to see the world in an awesome and different way from neurotypical people"?

Hope that this comment helps!


M.Reader said...
on Mar. 30 2012 at 9:00 pm
M.Reader, Portland, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
Translated into French - La folie: répéter la même chose plusieurs fois et attendre des résultats différents.

I have Asperger's as well, but I like to think that I've gradually been getting better socially. I'm certainly not perfect, though, and I know exactly how you feel about shyness! I used to hide under desks; however, my 5th grade teacher, Cédric Strapart, (he's Belgian) succeeded in getting me out from under there, and treated me like one of his normal students. And when he took us on a two-week trip to Paris later during that same year, I was ready to interact with five penpals, and I quickly made friends with them. Since that time, I've also quit rocking and rolling to relieve stress, and have found other ways to do the same thing, like telling stories to myself inside of my head. And although I haven’t had much of a love life yet, I’m hoping to have one someday, and you should really talk to the guy that you like. And finally, important and famous people, such as Thomas Jefferson, the guy who wrote our Declaration of Independence, may have had Asperger's as well. So, why do you call yourself "disabled" and "weird" instead of "able to see the world in an awesome and different way from neurotypical people"?

Hope that this comment helps!


on Mar. 30 2012 at 4:45 pm
QueenLiz BRONZE,
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." -Anais Nin

I also have aspergers. Even though some of my symptoms have gotten better, I really don't have any friends and I get nervous in big groups. I'm just excited for college because maybe I will find more people like myself. I really enjoyed and can relate to your article.

on Nov. 28 2011 at 2:58 pm
Willflower.-.-. BRONZE, Yuma, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is us. This is who we are. We demand attention.

My parents say I don't have Aspergers, but really searchin the signs, and this just confirmed it. But I will have to go my doctor. :)

on Nov. 27 2011 at 8:20 pm
countrygirl28 GOLD, Colleyville, Texas
15 articles 137 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Expose yourself to your deepest fear. After that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." -Jim Morrison
"Don't think or judge. Just listen." -Sarah Dessen

I have Aspergers, too. You really described it clearly and intelligently. Great job!

Genya GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2011 at 12:57 pm
Genya GOLD, Bridgewater, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."-Unknown Author

Honestly, I would try to tell more people that you are affected. They might see you as this weird person, but what they don't know is that you have Aspergers!

I hope one day you can talk to someone without rehearsing it. I mean, I could never see myself having to do this, and it must be frustrating.


Genya GOLD said...
on Nov. 19 2011 at 12:55 pm
Genya GOLD, Bridgewater, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."-Unknown Author

Even if it isn't, it sounds just as debilitating.

on May. 13 2011 at 8:13 pm
eksearle BRONZE, Troy, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky

I totally feel for you. I have Aspergers myself, so I know exactly what you are going through. I sometimes have social issues just like you. However, I have learned to overcome them, and I'm sure you will as well.

on May. 5 2011 at 10:08 pm
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this! i have a sister with Aspergers sydrome...  I don't.... I CAN'T understand how she feels... what I do understand however is it's hard... and not only does the child with aspergers have to deal with it.... the child's family has to too. It's hard for me too... I don't like hearing them say things about her..... she's my sister and I love her dearly! But asperger's can be controlled and maybe not controlled... but somewhat contained.... I am still learning how to deal with my sister in an uplifting way and try to help her deal with things.... but it's hard. But, once again, I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this article!

on May. 5 2011 at 3:53 pm
kenzie011 BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I know that i do not know one thing about you besides the fact that you have aspergers syndrome. However, i know that one day you'll be happy with you, and if people can't except you than forget about them because i bet you are one of the coolest people to come across. Good luck with learning! You'll get there! :)

on Feb. 1 2011 at 12:48 pm
Breakdancegrl SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Anything below perfection is complete and utter failure" Hugh Himwich
"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" Dumbledore: A Very Potter Musical

It's not a disease. Its aspergers syndrome. Dont worry about that though

 


on Feb. 1 2011 at 12:48 pm
Breakdancegrl SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Anything below perfection is complete and utter failure" Hugh Himwich
"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?" Dumbledore: A Very Potter Musical

It's very important to find someone who believes in you. A friend of mine was diagnosed as bipolar and clinically depressed. She tells me I CAN learn to be better at socializing. I believe in you. But that does not mean stop writiing, please continue your work, its fantastic

 


JacksDad said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 3:32 pm
That comment was supposed to be in response to the last two comments on your post (holy_crazy_man911 and J1208) - sorry that it did not post correctly.

on Nov. 30 2010 at 1:12 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

Not trying to be rude but not once did i mention in this article the word "disease"!

Sorry but that comment you gave me hurt my feelings.


on Nov. 30 2010 at 1:10 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

Thanks. I am glad you liked it!