What it is like to live with Aspergers Syndrome

January 3, 2010
By Anonymous

I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 9 years old, but have probably have had it since I was born 17 years ago. At that time, I didn’t even know what Aspergers was, but I have learned what it is. Aspergers is a developmental disorder within the autism spectrum. Living with Aspergers, I’ll say, is not very much fun. Actually, it is really annoying to have such a disability. Having Aspergers can cause me to get angry or confused very easily. I can get so angry when my parents tell me to do something, especially if I am in the middle of doing something else. When I was a lot younger, and still today, I have a hard time understanding what the teacher is explaining. Most of the time my grandmother tries to explain the homework to make it more easier for me to do. Sometimes, when I am doing one thing, I am thinking of another thing like I can’t even spell today.

Another thing I do is that, whenever I am standing around waiting in line at a grocery store or somewhere like that, I have a tendency to sway back and forth, or rock side to side. I think I do that because I am really bored, and I don’t’ want to be standing there doing nothing. I don’t even know I’m doing it until someone tells me. I know it probably looks weird but, it soothes me. Of course, people stare at me whenever I do it, and I feel like saying to them, “I have Aspergers, I can‘t help it.” Sometimes when I get nervous I start talking and talking and can’t quiet down.

Another bad thing with Aspergers is that, I have a very hard time conversing with others; teens, my therapists, and sometimes even my family. My friend Maria is 1½ years older than I am, and I have a hard time communicating with her. I’ll say, “Hey, what’s up?” She’ll say, “Okay”, and that’s the end of my conversation. Even if I practice ahead of time someone has to help me out by saying things like, “Don’t you want to ask Maria how school is?”, or ask her “What’s she been doing since the last time you saw her?” Then I will start up and then it of course, it stops again.

I really want to have a boyfriend badly, but unfortunately I don’t have one, and sometimes I do silly stuff for boys to notice me and that doesn‘t work. For instance, there is a boy whom I have a huge crush on and I am always so excited to see him. However, when he shows up, instead of talking to him I go and break up twigs in the front yard!
There is a prom each year for teens that are home schooled. I didn’t get to go last year because I didn’t have anyone to go with. Classmates at school kept saying, “You should go, you’ll have a good time”. However, no one asked me to join their group.

Even boys who are like me don’t ask me out! For example, I went to a classmate’s Bat Mitzvah, and I gave a ride to a boy whom I think has autism because he acts just like me; I was so excited, but I couldn’t say one thing to him! My grandmother helped me make a list of things to talk about, but I just couldn’t do it. As soon as he got out of the car, he couldn’t get to the popular kids fast enough. Of course, they ignored him. Go figure!

Sometimes I just wish that I was a normal teen living a normal life. I hate having disabilities; it makes me feel like a very ill teen that can’t get better no matter how hard I try, even though people say I have come a long way. It has taken me 8 years of lessons to learn how to swim. Now, once I get into the water you can’t get me out. I have learned to love swimming. It is now one of my favorite hobbies. It has also taken me 10 years to learn how to ride a bike. I love biking now as well. I still don’t know how to ice skate or roller skate yet, but I am still learning. Having Aspergers also makes me feel like I am a very illogical person that doesn’t know much about anything, and always acts weird. I wonder will I ever get better or will I always be a weird kid with disabilities.

The author's comments:
This story that I wrote is who I am. This is a true story, I do have Aspergers Syndrome.

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This article has 71 comments.


Starshine said...
on May. 29 2016 at 4:23 am
Hi I have Aspergers, and ADHD. I'm not sure what symptoms of Aspergers I have but for ADHD I twitch a lot and I have trouble with paying attention to whatever it is the teacher is trying to teach though this is only in math.

Andy said...
on Mar. 2 2016 at 10:57 am
Hy! I post this comment to say that yoi're not alone.I'm a 16.half year old teenager from Romania and i face similar problems to you. i have Asperger's althow my mother tells me that i don't have.Now i realize why i had so many problems eg. extreme difficulty in making friends,problems with speech althow as you can see i can expres.myself here,but in real life often i have problems because i don't know what to say or how to respond to people.I believe that you're a pretty and kind-harted girl allthow you are born with this condition.I would like to to talk to you face-to-face allthow I'm a bit shy.Pkease answer this comment.Andy

Andy said...
on Mar. 2 2016 at 10:46 am
Hey,you're not the only one in this unfortunate situation! I'm a 16 year old teenager from Romania who faces quite the same problems.I.have Asperger's althow my.mother doesn't.want to.recognize it.I' m sure you're a pretty girl no matter that unfortunately you are born with this condition.I would love to talk.to you allthow I'm a bit shy.Please anaswer to my comment
born with this condition.I would love to talk to you personally althow I'm quite shy.Please answer to my commeny

on Jul. 2 2015 at 4:11 pm
WriterForLife SILVER, Baltimore, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have

Ah man, I love this. I was unofficially diagnosed just a couple years ago, and like you, I wrote about it for Teen Ink. Have you read John Elder Robinson? He says it gets better as we age, so maybe it'll get easier for you.

on Jun. 5 2015 at 1:24 pm
thatgothgirluknow BRONZE, Sebastian, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i dont have aspergers but i do have most of the same problems you mentioned due to the several disorders i have and i know a lot of people with the disorder but trust me they have overcome it and you can to you might like to check out this site called virtual teen i have allot of good friends on there with autism if u ever need to talk im here and i know what u mean when u say u dont feel normal i have A.D.D, disocative disorder, severe anxiety, ptsd, and a tic disorder just to name a few tings these things also make life hard for me but im working to overcome them tis year i had to leave school because of them :( because my tic disorder causes me to move uncontrollably and it causes anxiety which makes it worse when that happens people stare at me and sometimes make fun of me plus its really scary this year it got so bad that i couldnt write or draw anymore and it took me twice as long to read things as everybody else but next year i am goig back to school and i am ready to work twice as hard as everyone to get the grades i have to

on Feb. 16 2015 at 7:12 pm
apinkwildrose GOLD, Fredrick, Maryland
12 articles 23 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
were there is a will there is a way!

I cant pretend to know what living with Aspergers is like but i do know what its like living with a disability. I have two dyslexia and a.d.d and what I have learned is to treat them as weakness not a thing or disability. Every one has weakness and no one is perfect you are just like every body else. It might seem that your are the only one with a "disability" but really your just some one how has a label for your weakness. And don't let that weakness get in the way of your realizing all the wonderful gifts god has given you. Like the ability to wright and not only wright but with proper grammar. I wish i could do that with out text edit you wouldn't know what i was saying.

Dude said...
on Oct. 20 2014 at 7:47 pm
I been dealing with aspurgers my whole life and if there is anything I have learned, its that you cant let these so called "experts" and "professionals" tell you what kind of person you are. Only you can decide who you are and what kind of person you want to be and aspurgers is a problem that only YOU can deal with on your own. Everything my parents and doctors told me only made me feel more and more distant and I hated myself for it. I would walk into school dreading social interaction with anyone who wasnt in my tight knit group of friends who suffered the same problems. I relized one day that sulking in my pitty, sitting alone in my own mind would not get me anywhere. After transfering highschools I began to almost subliminily observe how people talked, interacted and just in general lived their day to day lives. That was back when I was 14, im 18 now and people back home see me as a completly differant person not even noticing that I have any real social disability. Now I can actually make friends, talk to people and hell I was even able to get myself a girlfriend. The best part about it is I refused to talk to any more "professionals" and I dont need any form of medication or tudering to cary out everyday life as a student. If anything my personal experience with aspurgers has taught me, its that everyone who lives with this needs to step up and take their lives into their own hands. Doctors, parents or anyone who say they understand what you deal with does not know anything, they cannot possibly comprehend what goes on our heads and the stress it puts under. Good luck to all people who live under this strange condition and I hope one day everyone with aspurgers will overcome the mental darkness that plagues so many and live happy and prosperous lives.

DarkyPMobian said...
on Jul. 17 2014 at 9:40 am
DarkyPMobian, Moncks Corner, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Our fate lies within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it."
-Princess Merida

I don't have Asperger's, but I do have a form of autism called PDD-NOS (Pervesive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified). There are some good things to having a form of autism. For instance, we are advanced in either academics, visual media or music. I'm talented in all areas. (Not to brag.) Trust me. I'm having difficulties with social skills, too. Maybe we should talk sometime. I'm Kai. :D

on May. 9 2014 at 12:31 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

I agree. You can learn alot from just being yourself and not getting upset about beiing disabled. Maybe someday the right guy will come along and will like us for who we are on the inside.

on May. 9 2014 at 12:28 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

When I'm on the stage acting I feel like a normal adult. Because when I am on the stage I can be anything I want to be. I'm always worried that if I tell people about my disability that they will treat me differently. I guess that fear will always remain with me. But now realizing that I'm not alone and that others have Aspergers too makes me realize that I'm not alone.

kaylankutie said...
on Apr. 7 2014 at 7:25 pm
Hi, having aspergers is a wonderful thing u dont need to worry about having a boyfriend u will get one when ur older and they will love you for who u are sonpls dont worry

on Mar. 31 2014 at 2:18 pm
NaomiHallS PLATINUM, Ventura, California
26 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If they cut off both hands, I will compose music anyway holding the pen in my teeth." -Shostakovich

Very well-written! You'll find someone to spend your life with (:

on Mar. 27 2014 at 11:34 am
lilyisawesome BRONZE, Rochester, New York
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
Hey you are not alone i have Aspergers as well and i am just like you my name is lily and i go to a school that helps me with my disability and in the past i was bullied alot and never got a boyfriend at all. The guys i found always cheated on me or used me to do stuff that i said no to and they would just make fun of me. Now that i understand what i have i have learned alot of things from it like just be urself and dont be upset about having aspergers. 

on Sep. 19 2013 at 9:14 pm
asdfghjklfancat SILVER, Forsyth, Georgia
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

I have Aspergers too and I always rock back and forth (it gets on my drama teacher's nerves when we are practicing) but people don't seem to notice when I am out somewhere not on stage. (Every little movement is noticable on stage, I have a lot of trouble with that.) I'm always trying to find a way to stay focused on my work right now I have a stuffed kitty penceil case that I keep hold of to have something in my hands to play with. I always have trouble explaning have aspergers works and this is perfect beyond words. Good lck with school and boyfriends! <3

on Jul. 8 2013 at 9:01 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

Thank you so much. It means a lot

on Jul. 8 2013 at 8:59 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

I have had tons of crushes but not one boy has asked me out. I eventually want to move out of my parents home and get married and start a family of my own. But that is hard when I don't have a man to share my life with.

on Jul. 8 2013 at 8:58 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

Even though my life is rough, I still try to push through. I have a goal in life and I am really trying to get there. :)

on Jul. 8 2013 at 8:57 pm
Megan21192 SILVER, Milford, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Practice make perfect!
-unknown-

Thank you, that really means a lot! :)

kaykay said...
on Jun. 5 2013 at 4:40 am
i have aspergers too and i know it is hard very hard, but i have learnt how to deal with it and found my own way of learning things...i have had boyfriends..once you learn to deal with it and stop fighting with it life gets much better trust me <3

on May. 29 2013 at 3:55 pm
I found this very inspiring. My sister has Asperger's, and it really helped me out with what it's like for her. Stay anchored, you'll always get through.


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