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The Queen Bee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Being teased in elementaryschool is like stepping on dog crap - no matter how much you wipe it off, thestench is still with you. And even if you go home and clean your shoe, it's stillthere. Everywhere you go - interviews for school or a job, on a date - eventhough the shoe's clean, you still wipe it on the welcome mat before entering,just in case. And you're aware of the stench, and positive that everyone in thatroom, everyone you meet or talk to, is aware of it, too.

Then you startchanging. You change the way you deal with people, learn to be less yourself andmore someone who fits the mold. Eventually you're like clay and mold yourselfinto whom you think you should be. You can change your texture. You can changeyour shape. And you do this regularly. But the crap, it's still the same ... andno matter how much you try to change that, you can't. The same chemical makeup.The same DNA. You can't change chemistry; clay is still clay.

Suddenly youreach a certain stature in your social existence where you have power. You makeother people want to mold themselves, change themselves. Hey, if you've gonethrough it, it's only fair you put others through it, too. And it works; yoursilver crown turns to gold.

And now you're the queen, and the queen isquite content. Until you meet this one person. Someone you can't wave your magicwand over. Because instead of changing, this person turns the power back on you,sending you back the glow from your wand and instead of helping you, it worksagainst you.

They stare at you so coldly in the hallway that even thoughyour clay figurine (which you've shaped so nicely) is dry (and you feel nothingon earth can dampen it), you find yourself under a sink, and you feel the knobsturning on. First cold water. Then hot, so hot you feel it burn the outside ofyour little clay figurine, and you are no longer the queen but a snake sheddingits skin. But you look away before it gets inside, because that's all thatmatters. As long as you're set in your ways, your shell will eventually harden,and you'll be back to your molded self.

The weird part is that logicallyyou think the crap you stepped on such a long time ago has been completelycleaned off your shoe. And it has - you can't see it anymore, or feel it. It'snot even the same shoe; you have grown. So it's weird to have the queen come backfrom a party in her gown, wand and crown, and feel the stench again ... to feellike she's crap.



This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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