The pain of not knowing

July 15, 2009
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She let go of me she did not want me. Why?????? How could somebody not want thier own child? Easy they did not have the money the time or the resources to take care of child. I was two years old when I was adopted. My father was never told about my birth or possible he did not even care that I was his child. I was born in Santiago Chile. Close to the beutiful mountians. but throut my life I am wanted to go back and visit to see if I could track down any part of my family. But over the past two years there has been a pain whenever I see my older sister and brother who are not related to bond with their own dad and mother. Nobody knows how hard it is to not be able to have a real connection to the people in your own family. Something is missing but then I always think but my real mom hadnt wanted me so why should I want her she does not make contact with me so why should I care. I have no hope in findging her and I have to give up. it's time to move on from a past that will never become the future people live through hardships everyday but if you don't look back you will keep running from it. just move, its the best thing to do. Maybe someday I will find my real mom but if I don't then I will just have to get over it.





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emopoet13 said...
Oct. 21, 2009 at 8:42 am
I agree with the comments on here. What happened happened, and no one can change that. If you let your past affect you, it's just gonna tear you apart from the inside out. I know it's hard, but it's something you have to let go of. If you let go of it, you'll be a lot happier (:
 
writer24/7/365 said...
Sept. 30, 2009 at 8:54 pm
okay, there's something you need to know. your mom might not have neccessarily wanted to give you up. what if she didn't have enough money to take care of you. she might have loved you more than anything. maybe someday they'll be a way to find her.
 
Artemis_Girl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I feel really bad, but you're right. Maybe you will find that if you let go of the past, you will be happier in the present.
 
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