State Champs

March 28, 2018
By Laynef36 BRONZE, Defiance, Ohio
Laynef36 BRONZE, Defiance, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

The writing titled “State Champs,” written by Andrew S., talks about winning a football state championship. His writing left me feeling inspired to strive for the same greatness. As a football player, I can relate to the feelings he is experiencing before a big game. I have experienced the feelings of “butterflies flying around in my stomach slowly get bigger.” I would love to have the feeling of playing in a state title game for my home town.  I think for the most part this article is written well. However, in my opinion this article would be greatly uplifted with more details that appeal to the senses. If he were to elaborate on what he’s feeling, hearing, smelling, and feeling when he writes, “We line up ready for a fight” it would bring more feelings into the article allowing more people to connect with it. I am not confused by anything, and I think the author is fairly descriptive. On that note I think if he added some more in depth descriptions it could brighten the article even more.



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