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“Your Locker, Now that You’re Gone,” a memoir by Xander Bobolz is an eloquently written piece than captures the reader immediately. Xander recalls the memories of a toxic relationship as he glances at the locker. He remembers being belittled and verbally abused throughout the relationship. His writing touches the topic of abuse and how people can be blinded to the actions of their partner.
As I read the memoir, I felt the emotion Xander experienced throughout the relationship. He wrote her Post-It notes to comfort her through the school day. He stayed with her even though she gets mad whenever things don't go her way. “Maybe I’m glad I don't spend the weekends at your house anymore, with you getting mad if I didn’t want to stay up all night with you or if I needed a nightlight to sleep.” Xander describes one out of numerous incidents that he was being mistreated and dehumanized by her. She had complete control of the relationship, forcing Xander to only do what she approved of. Xander clearly shown affection towards his friend, but as their relationship developed, he began to open his eyes and see the damage she has done to him. The dynamic emotion in the writing gives the reader an insight on the author’s feelings of his friend. Realize when someone is toxic so you don't let them poison you.






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