After reading the memoir “If Only” by Susan. I understood how Susan felt. I understand why Susan's grandmother told her “You're gonna be okay, how everything's gonna be okay.” But then at the same time she was lying how everything was “okay” she’s just trying to make herself feel and look strong, not making anyone worry about her, but she couldn't deal with it anymore, and put a gun onto her head. At the same time you don't always have to tell anyone whats going on. I don’t always tell people about my personal life, but you should always tell someone rather than keeping it in because you’ll end up having a break down, and a break down turns into terror and a terror can turn into pain. The pain Susan felt, I felt. My uncle and aunt got murdered, in the middle of summer of 2007, I felt depressed, I felt like nothing. I felt as nothing was gonna be okay, but soon I realized it was. I had to leave this big situation because I was just a little girl. I was just supposed to be happy, not crying, not reminiscing over all the memories I had with my aunt and uncle.  I was just sad, and aggravated because till this day I wonder who would do such a thing like this. I can relate to Susan completely, “Sometimes the pain is quiet; it lies still in my heart and allows me to function.”