I must win. I must succeed. I must achieve. These thoughts go through competitive people’s minds. “Only a Game” by Ally Frontino is a memoir about the certain population who find great joy in winning, otherwise known as competitive people. She mentions how she is competitive and argumentative, even the seemingly  smallest disagreements. Ally apologizes at the end of her piece but she embraces her competitiveness and doesn’t try to suppress it. This really inspires me to let my inner colors shine through even if they may not be positive traits.
After reading this, I thought, “what if I wasn’t competitive?”. I sifted through the endless memories of basketball tournaments, badminton games, and the meaningless arguments with my brother. I can’t imagine my life without the feeling of wanting to win and being the best. What if I didn’t fight with my brother over the last Twix? A sentence in Ally’s piece that stood out was, “It’s easier said than done to act like it’s ‘just a game.’ I find myself apologizing for my anger often, but my actions never change.” If I’m playing basketball and I miss the shot, I’m really disappointed in myself. If my teammate misses, I think, “we could have made that shot.” Looking back, I hate thinking bad about my teammates, but when I’m in the moment, I can’t help it.
I don’t think competitiveness can be helped. It’s all in the heat of the moment and no one’s really stopping on the field to say, “I shouldn’t have thought that.” I find that being argumentative or competitive isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Argumentative and competitive people know what they want and they’re determined to achieve it. I don’t find much joy in something like assembling model planes or weaving bracelets but I enjoy playing on a team, even if it means dealing with my competitiveness.