Feedback on "The (Laser) Quest for Love" | Teen Ink

Feedback on "The (Laser) Quest for Love"

March 25, 2015
By ariel___ GOLD, New York, New York
ariel___ GOLD, New York, New York
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

      Everybody has had to have a crush at least once in their lives, which is why Keilani Snyder's "The (Laser) Quest for Love," is such a relatable piece for teenagers. The character gets the chance to hang out with her crush and play a laser tag game with him on the same team. Everything is going great, until he gets hurt. That's when the event becomes an embarrassing memory that the character will remember forever. Although this unfortunate incident occurs, the character finds hope when she realizes that there is another love for her, out there somewhere. This piece was written brilliantly and was filled with precise details that added personality to the story.
          The depiction of the room where the laser tag game took place was just one of the many very interesting descriptions. Keilani writes, "The doors opened; we were in chaos. Looming towers surrounded us, and the skies above were black and endless. The neon wall designs attacked my eyes, tearing at my sanity." Just from these several sentences, I get an elaborate visual of what the character interprets the room to look like. By using phrases such as, "attacked my eyes" and "tearing at my sanity," Keilani enhances the plot of the story. In addition, my favorite lines by far would have to be, "That is why rule number six of the Laser Quest soldiers is, 'I will not run, jump or climb.' For if you run, if you jump, then you will fall. You will fall like my love, or you will fall in love like me." These ending lines bring the story to a close. However, they do so in a creative and pleasing fashion. The lines tie the story in with the ending, connecting the rules of the laser tag game and the incident that occurred to the different ways that "fall" relates to the characters in the end. "The (Laser) Quest for Love" is a very well written piece and is relatable. The hopeful ending and detailed descriptions bring the character and they story to life, making it a pleasurable read.



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