This person wrote a story about falling a patch of ice. Like she’s the only person to ever fall on her butt in front of people. I could totally top her story. Once I was running on a linoleum floor when I tripped over nothing and fell to the ground face first and slid about four feet. I came to a stop at the feet of about five of my friends. My experience was much more dramatic than this person’s. I’m just making my way across the floor and suddenly, I’m face first on it. No warning. And no excuse like this person had. There was no ice. Just my own lack coordination and grace.