It's weird, it's hard to explain. I thought I was happy with my friends at sjh, I thought I liked that school. But then I hung out with abe and I realized that I wasn't happy, not really. Its like I made up my own fake happiness. Like I made a blanket of happiness to cover how I really feel. I'm not happy. I'm depressed. And the only way I've found to make me actually, really happy is being around him. Not texting him, not talking to him on the phone, being with him. It's not real when I'm not with abe. When we're together we don't have to hide how we feel. I don't ever want him to leave, when he does the depression kicks in. and everything is covered in the blanket I've made, but inside I know something's wrong <3