Look Up and You'll See Me

April 26, 2016
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Look up, Hanna, big brother's watching you. I haven't left you behind.

Look up, Dad, and feel my tears drop through these clouds and wash away the pain.

Look up, Mom, I'll miss those mysterious meals you used to serve us every Friday night.

 

Don't hold this letter and cry, Mom. You were the most loving woman I ever knew. You kissed these bruises and fixed these breaks when the world beat me down. You believed in me, Mom, when the world offered us nothing and expected so much from a poor minimum wage family. You kept us united, sewn together with those loving hands of yours. Keep laughing, Mom, I'll hear it.

Hanna, my dorky sister with so many fears and anxieties. My brave, soccer killing warrior and track princess. I love you, sweety. Look up and you'll see me, I'll be watching you shine. With all your success and victories, you'll climb so high and be ready to take on the world, Hanna. Leave those fears behind you, because big brother is still watching over you. Don't sob sad tears, sweety, because you're so strong. I love you, Hanna. I really do.

Take this letter, Dad, and hold it firmly in your hand. Let that tear become a storm, become a hurricane. Look up and you'll see me, Dad, waiting here to hear you say it. You loaded that gun and put it in my hand. Thank you for never stopping the bullies, or coming to pick me up after school. I rode that bus every day, got beaten every single day, Dad, while you where away. All these years of pain and sorrow really did me in. They left me hollow. Look up and you'll see me, crying and waiting to tell you. I love you, Dad, even when you weren't my dad at all. I remember how stressed you got, and when things really began to change. You drank, you screamed, you always walked away. This life has taken us all for granted, Dad, but don't let it burry you. I love you, and Hanna and Mom need you.

Don't blame yourselves, only remember me when I'm gone and happy. Only remember the happy times, Hanna, Mom, and Dad, because those times mean the most when everything is falling apart.

Cancer may have beaten me, but I have spoken my heart to you. I love you.

I love you.

I love you. Look up and you'll see me flying.






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