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The Monsters in the Dark

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I'm scared- but not just a simple, sweet kind of scared. Its the kind of scared that reaches into one's heart with black fingertips, chilly and frightening, leaving an endless worry gnawing away at the mind.

Like the hundreds of thousands of other students out there- I’m really, quite afraid about the future. What about tomorrow? And the day after? And even then? Two years from now, will I be applying (and getting accepted) from the schools I want? Ten years from now, will I be successful?

I guess the one thing I’m most afraid of is not getting into a good college- thus, disappointing my parents, myself, and the others around me. So much to do! To study, to get good grades, to do every single thing imaginable to be the best, to be the most amazing, to make yourself unique.

The future is a large grey cloud looming over us. It remains uncertain, as if debating whether it will explode, shattering the hazy skies of the earth in a torrent of raindrops, or whether it will flip and turn suddenly, revealing the dully shining sun masked behind it.

We all worry about our own futures, at some point of our lives. We are all frightened. We become children, once again, too scared to reach in and turn on the light and finally, for the first time, venture into the fearsome basement.

And of course, we realize, there is no monster. There is no reason to worry. And yet, we still worry. We are shaking with trepidation as we peer around, heart pounding hotly in our ears, ready to scream in pure terror. We are so sure that there is a monster hiding there, ready to leap out and gobble us up.

But really, there is no monster. We realize that, and still, we sprint back up the stairs, rather dazed by the prospect. We live life, we laugh, we learn. We finally understand. We were children then, we are not children now. The frightening parts are over. The monster is gone. It is done.

And yet, there is still one monster that looms ahead of us. There is still one more basement to discover, one more basement to tentatively reach into, one more basement to overcome.

And that monster, that last basement, frightens me so dearly. I'm frightened out of my wits. I am not a leader. I am barely a follower. How can I be on my own? How can I be the master, the owner of my own future when I barely know what to do at the present?
And yet, somehow, I know I'll be okay.

Just like that time when I went after that monster in the basement.





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