Finding Your Own

By
I place my foot on the bottom of the round table swiveling left to right in my chair. I stare out over my yard, gazing at the deep pinks and oranges behind the mountains. The warmth of the afternoon sun had once brought movement of lurking life, but the sunset has caused a sense of peacefulness in the cool of the night. The sweet scent of orange jubilee teases my nose creating a tingly sensation. In the distance I hear the loquacious children running around and their moms calling them in for dinner. The chirp of a mother bird perched on my neighbor’s fence sang its last tune of the day as it flew away. My mind- clear of thought, full of freedom- has chosen its own path away from all the tension my schedule had brought me. Where pink had filled my ponderous eyes now there is black. My foot slips off the table onto the rough brick as I fall farther away from myself.

When I sit outside on my back patio the rush of contentment is overwhelming. In the evening when I find my favorite chair, the one closest to the house, I sink into it like a penny in water. My hands clasp the leather handles, gripping tightly, paralyzed in my state of being. My lungs are full, my body is tense, my eyes are heavy, and I exhale as if my crazy day has finally caught up with me.
My face is stuck to the handle, making indentations like a tic-tac-toe game, from my heavy head. The night air brushes my skin with elegance sending a chill throughout my body. I am lost in a world only the imagination can travel. My thoughts are left
uninterrupted and my satisfaction is shown through a slight grin. The chair’s pillow-like cushion has the same tender love and care as a mother. My mind is finally at ease as the sun is fading down my patio. My legs begin to ache from the awkward position I am sitting in. It feels as though a spider is crawling up through my leg. With this disturbing discomfort I awake.

When I open my eyes I continue to see black; however, it is different. It is a bright black that has brought out many types of life only seen beneath the stars. Life with more than two legs lurks along the sandy stone beneath the chairs bringing a pinch of terror to me. Time had passed as I had laid still. The sky changed shape and the yellow blossoms that once popped with excitement were now smothered in a gloomy blanket. The sound of a chirping bird is replaced with crickets and grasshoppers. I rub my face with closed hands, asking myself how time can pass so quickly. There is no answer to my question as I ponder, but I continued to gander around with a puzzled look on my face. I attempt to push myself out of the chair but my arms are shaky. I crumble in failure, falling back onto the chair’s cushion.

I try again but this time I push harder. I make it up and everything seems unstable; a bit wobbly and my sight is funny. I found the pot of Fall colored flowers on the table and focused in on them until I was able to see straight. The air feels sticky but a nice breeze is flowing. I run my fragile fingers through my damp hair to keep it off my face
and then begin to yawn as I straighten myself up. It is different now than when I first sat down. My body was relaxed but most importantly so was my mind. I bring my hands together and clasp them, stretching as far as they can possibly reach. My right elbow cracks, causing something in the still plants to stir.

The stirring caught my undivided attentiveness. I slink on over to the edge of the brick where the noise is blatant. I reach for something, anything to grab, just in case I should need to whack it. My hands are empty as nothing is in reach. My feet remain where they are but I move my upper body like a worm searching high and low for the culprit. I decide to pick up a rock and drop it to try and scare the critter away. A musty odor fills my nose letting me know it is close. Another rock later and there it went! When I see the mouse scurry along I run for the door as it is time to go in anyhow.

After making my way inside, the rush of the AC takes my breath away. I turn around to lock up for the night because reality has sunk back in and there is still homework to be finished. I give the patio one last glance before looking away. I notice something different this time however. It is not just a patio. It is more than a small
table with four chairs. It is its own little world; A world that takes away my worries and brings me back to sanity. The chairs are my cushions of paradise and provide me with the ultimate escape. I still continue to sit on my patio when time permits itself. There is always a breeze and with the breeze, the fragrance of pepper from the Brazilian pepper tree. I can still hear the neighbor’s kids and the dog down the street. I can taste the sweet satisfaction of freedom of mind. I can still see without really seeing.





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BEST FRAN said...
Dec. 8, 2008 at 6:27 am
awe I'm so proud of you for getting published! congrats best fran
 
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