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Healing

I would have never imagined five months ago my life would turn out the way it is. I’m a junior in high school. Good grades honors classes focused on school and making it through the most important year of high school. But that all took a turn for the worst.

October 19th 2012 around 7:30pm I was involved in an accident, rear-ended at a yield sign at the time it didn’t seem as bad as it turned out. After speaking to a cop and dealing with all the paper work everything was fine, so we went on with our lives only to find out that things only got worse.

October 20th 2012 it is now the next day and everything hurts, my back hurts, my head hurts, I cant move out of my bed because looking at lights hurt so bad. After speaking to my dad we decided it’d be best I go get looked at. We went to the medical aide unit right around the corner. The ride there was unbearable, I was getting sick, I was dizzy I couldn’t really open my eyes because I was too sensitive to light. After being checked out by a doctor it turned out I had a concussion and a sprained lumbar. They took me out of school for a day and gave me pain medicine for my back. Yet again I thought this would be the end and in a week id be back to normal.

October 23rd 2012 finally I’m back at school. Two days felt like forever, resting and sleeping no TV, no phone, no computer, nothing but my bed, my blankets, and myself. It seemed so unreal that four days ago I was in an accident. School became more difficult as time went on. I left early on numerous occasions because of feeling dizzy or tired and having a headache to the point I couldn’t focus. Hopefully things get better soon and there’s finally an end to all of this.

It is now November; things still aren’t any better. The days are dragging on and on everyday a new challenge. I couldn’t focus in school; everything I was learning eventually became a blur. My grades dropped drastically I was failing everything, and this was a reality check that something may be seriously wrong. My memory dropped I couldn’t remember anything that was happening and it was a terrifying reality.

December 18 2012, it’s almost winter vacation finally a break from all the stress and schoolwork, today we’re also meeting with my primary care doctor for a checkup after the accident. It has now been 8 weeks and things still seemed just as bad as day one. The doctor picked up and noticed there was no change. She then referred me to A.I DuPont Children’s Hospital to their concussion clinic. This was scary; I had so many thoughts going through my head. What are they going to do? Is it really this bad? Why me? Why can’t this be over? Little did we know at the time getting an appointment was not as easy as it sounded.

January 3rd 2013, todays the day I finally get to see a doctor at A.I. I have no idea what to expect and yet again these thoughts are running wild in my head. I hope for good answers and that this can all be over. The doctor asked so many questions, what happened, how did it happen, did you hit your head, do you remember hitting your head? The questions never stopped and I didn’t know where to begin. She ran many test, balance test, thinking test, memory test, and I passed none of them. She requested I take two weeks off of school and stay home and rest, this yet again meant no TV no phone no computer no friends no classwork nothing but my bed my blankets and myself. I was put on sleeping medicine because I had the hardest time falling asleep and staying asleep, I was also given medicine to reduce headaches.

Those two weeks drug on and on, I was so excited to be able to get back to school and my normal life, thinking that after two weeks that maybe just maybe ill be better. I went back to A.I after my two weeks were up and I could finally go back to school, she told me I needed to take impact testing. This is a computerized test that sees where you stand with your recovery; they test things like memory and reaction times. Yet again I passed nothing. The test felt like the hardest thing I could have taken.

The weeks kept going different doctors appointments every week and slowly getting back into the swing of school. After my fourth impact test things became clear that I need more help then what I was getting. It was time to start occupational therapy. New doctor, new person to tell my story to, and more missing school. The occupational therapy was to help with my memory cause it was still down the drain.

It’s now late march and I’m still not cleared from a concussion that happened over five months ago. I’ve been held back from so many things, I can’t play softball, I can’t do things with my friends like I used to, I cant give my all in school because I have to keep everything cut back. I spend up three days a week at the hospitals going through doctor appointments and therapy. Every decision I make has to be a good one I cant take the chance of doing something and messing up my head any more.

Everyday is a new challenge still; some days are easier than others and some days are too over whelming for words. I still have so many unanswered questions, like why me, when will this all be over, how much longer will I have to suffer. Family and friends try so hard to keep me positive and to give me answers to these questions, they all say the same thing. It’ll get better soon, you’re strong enough to get through this, and every thing will be normal one day, but after five months of being told the same thing it’s becoming hard to believe all of these statements. Five months ago I would have never pictured my life the way it is.



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