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Control? MAG
My hands shake and I am losing my grip.
My jaw quivers and something or someone else
takes over my mind.
My toes twitch with anticipation to move.
Above all, my stomach is tight.
It is full.
I want it all out of me.
It makes me feel dirty, gross, self-conscious.
I do not want people to look at me.
I suck in my expanded belly to illude everyone but myself.
Please be skinny.
Please look thin.
Please get this food out of me!
I’d rather have the claws of hunger picking at my bones
than this gluttony.
My feet find the floor and I tiptoe out to kneel in front of my weakness.
I go to bed with acid in my mouth, a scratchy throat,
guilty fingers, but an empty stomach.
I am defeated.
© Anonymous
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This article has 6 comments.
Claymonster said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 8:54 pm
can't people see that bulimia, anorexia, and other verions of the two are a big deal now!? can't people see that girls everywhere are suffering, throwing up everything they eat or pretending to themselves that they don't need food?! so many of us who strive to eat less than 1000 calories a day, and then try to burn off half of it, who dread christmas and thanksgiving because we will want to eat and we know that we will hate ourselves for doing so. we who cry every time we go clothes shopping. those of us whose parents say we seem to be slipping away to nothing, when we only see how much fat is left on our stupid, fat frames! can't people see?!
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 4 2010 at 6:03 pm
Does anyone really see what this is about? That is so sad! Good writing though.
bjbunny said...
on May. 4 2010 at 8:20 am
i understood little of this, but i could understand i thought was absolutely touching. thx;)
rawr5 said...
on Nov. 24 2009 at 1:16 pm
wow this is beutifuly written keep writing:)!!!
Ellie said...
on Feb. 14 2009 at 8:52 pm
Thats so beautiful, so well written and ecplained. i hate feeling guilty.
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