A Get in Shape Epiphany

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Losing weight is a mind set. I simply awoke one day with a determination. What I am going to refer to as a “Get in Shape Epiphany”. Perhaps it was the media, my brother being a jerk, or maybe a mixture of the two. All I know for certain is that I am going to do my best to help others reach their goals. Hopefully, this article will make your mind, as a reader, click into the place mine did so many months ago…

I often watch my mom fight a mental battle against her inner-self when she is faced with unhealthy goodies. I console her as best I can and tell her that she can have some, but only if it’s in moderation. But to lose weight, you must even eat healthy and regular foods in moderation. When in doubt, eat like a four year old. Never eat until you’re full because that means your stomach is distended and you’ve eaten too much.

Many heavy people reject the concepts those skinny little nutritionists tell them. Because, in most cases, those people have had a time in their life when they could eat anything and as much as they wanted with no consequences. Later in this article I will recite the many examples that I have compiled in my brain. Me, and I’m sure many of you, have never had the opportunity to experience this. For those of you that have, this paper will still help you, but I have one word for you. Lucky.

Pardon my French, and pardon my French to the French for using this “French” analogy, but metabolisms are a heartless b****. They make many of us grind our teeth and narrow our eyes in frustration. I will watch my skinny brother sit his bony butt down on the couch and proceed to shovel a half-gallon of ice cream into his mouth. My mouth agape, I ask him how he has the audacity to eat half the container in one setting. He then states with a sneer at my dumbfounded expression that he is trying to gain weight. I slowly shake my head and stamp down my self-pity, then return to watching television.

Some people argue with themselves, debating whether or not they could eat that piece of pie. My theory coincides with a courtroom’s view on reasonable doubt. If you question eating it whatsoever, just don’t eat it. When you start to feel a sense of despair after a meal because you ate too much, don’t worry, just eat less at your next meal or go get some exercise. But this doesn’t mean you just found a loophole.
According to PsyBlog, it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit. But if you truly are motivated to stick with a tough new habit, you can force yourself to do it until it’s almost a physical necessity. Whether it’s just to eat less or you’re going to go for a jog every day, if you stick with it, and don’t cheat (yourself), then I have no doubt in my mind that you will see results.

If you’re a jogger or want to become one, to do any good, you must jog at least until you’re sweating. Maybe your dew point is a mile or two, or it’s just half a mile, or you just ate birthday cake. You have to continue to challenge yourself, if a mile jog becomes easy, make it a mile and a half, and so on. If you prefer to walk, make it challenging. Perhaps a brisk speed walk or a maybe half jog/ half walk. If you play football or do ZUMBA like my mom, you can feel in your body if you need additional exercise. On most days of the week, football’s wind-sprints are my exercise. But on walkthrough days, I have been known to be found jogging on the track out of habit. I am hoping to start a running posse that will come with me, but, we shall see.

I have found such a thing as a nice nuisance. A contradiction, I know, but you do have mixed feelings when you are forced to buy a belt to keep your old jeans up and your brother starts to make fun of your short stature because he can’t call you fat anymore. Every year, my brother and I are to try on and clear out all of our clothes from our closet. I used to dread this because I continually had to say that they were too small and I would get my belly fat pinched by the buttons. This year, I got a ton of my skinny brother’s old jeans and some of them were actually too big. I complained that my jeans were falling down to my mom and she gave me a funny look and said, “That doesn’t sound like a very bad problem”.

Before my “Get in shape Epiphany”, I would have embraced a practice free of wind sprints with open arms and a face full of joy. But now, I find myself volunteering for the eight cone (which is the cone that is a 60 yard sprint to!) even though I’m a linemen. The skinny but sluggish kid I take the turn for often looks at me with a raised eyebrow, but certainly does not argue for his position. I sort of feel the same sense of bewilderment at my actions, but quickly remember that I am a changed person. Hopefully, in the near future, you will be too.





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