Healthy Relationships | Teen Ink

Healthy Relationships

August 14, 2011
By DetailedKaitlyn BRONZE, Gresham, Oregon
DetailedKaitlyn BRONZE, Gresham, Oregon
1 article 10 photos 0 comments

A healthy relationship is one in which both people feel a healthy sense of “self”. Each person feels warm and loved when with each other. Two emotionally healthy people try to be each others everything, to meet all their needs, to be what they want them to be, while staying true to who they are. To be in a healthy relationship, is when they find a place where they can ask openly for help without fear of criticism. A healthy relationship means that both people feel respected and loved even when problems arise. To show your partner respect is a huge aspect of a healthy relationship, you must exhibit behaviors the other desires.

To have a healthy relationship you must set boundaries or limits. When you start a relationship, know how far you want to go. Make sure to inform the other of your boundaries. Start fresh, clean, and honest to have a healthy relationship. If a relationship invades your emotional harmony take a step back from the other. Don’t talk or visit as much. It may not be right for you, so clear your mind, and try to straiten your thoughts out. Another component of a healthy relationship is to have healthy conversations. Be honest, kind, and show that you respect the others wants, thoughts and boundaries.

Self focus is the key to having a healthy relationship. Don’t let your life revolve around them. Although, you want to be with them, don’t forget and neglect the other people you have relationships with. Keep your mind set on your hope, dreams, and future plans. This will keep your harmony balanced. Asking for too much from someone could overload the other and slowly push them away.

A relationship is not only the person whom you are dating, going out with, or hooking up with, but the people you interact with everyday. A relationship can be close, and supportive, or stressful and abusive. Family, peers, school mates, partners, doctors, neighbors, these are all examples of people you may have an occupational relationship with. These people may mean the world to you, or be someone who you could deal living without knowing them. No matter whom with, you must practice having a healthy relationship with them all.

The hardest part of being in a relationship is that you don’t have control over the other person chooses to do. Relationships can sometimes lead to stress, depression, loss of self-esteem, loss of confidence, and/or even physical illness. It is important for you to think about things that can protect you in a relationship. If you have a healthy relationship that is supportive, and loving you are more likely to feel happy and satisfied with life and with your relationship. Keep your eyes open for signs that you could be in an unhealthy relationship.
I was in an unhealthy relationship about a year ago. He knew my boundaries, and knew that I didn’t want to go any farther then making out. He still bugged me about having sex with him. I would say no to him, he would scream and yell at me and call me a b**** and tell me that I was a w**** and not worth his time. He said that was the only way I could prove to him that I loved him. Dealt with him yelling and putting me down and making fun of me for any and everything I did. After months of pain and agony, I talked to my mom about it. She explained that I didn’t have to put up with that. I broke up with him. I thought I loved him, but I wasn’t going to sacrifice myself for someone who was treating me bad, didn’t respect me, and didn’t want to have an emotional relationship first. After I broke up with him, he tried to get me back but I knew he wouldn’t change. Instead, he went around spreading rumors to my friends, and to the whole school saying we had sex and I could be pregnant. All he wanted to do was ruin my life. But I realized he wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want to be hurt or pressured by an unhealthy relationship. He didn’t stop. My mom talked to him, his mom, and we tried everything. Finally we went to the school board and threatened to call the police. It took months for him to stop talking to, and about me. I was upset at the time, but I have grown. It took me many months to learn who I was again. Now, a year afterwards, I am with an amazing boy. He shows me what a real healthy relationship feels like. He shows and tells me I am loved. We knew each others boundaries and limits before we started to date. It will hurt when or if you decide to eliminate the unhealthy relationship. But you will grow and someday, meet someone who will treat you the way you should be treated. If this is happening to you, ask someone for help. An aunt, mom, dad, anyone you are comfortable with they will help you, all you have to do is ask.

When you think of a relationship you are in, do you feel like you belong and are loved? Does it increase your confidence, and self-esteem? Does the other provide understanding, trust, and care? Do they help discuss your options? Do you feel safe and respected? Have you discussed your boundaries? A healthy relationship consists of respect, trust, honesty, safety, equality, consistency, value, security, loyalty, empathy, and genuineness. Think about your relationships, are they healthy? If not, think about your options, what can you do to make them healthier? Talk with other people you trust and have a healthy relationship with for help. Listen to the ones around you, they can see more then you can sometimes. Do you have the strength, courage, and will power to free yourself of an unhealthy relationship like I did?

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