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Alternatives to Creating a Family

The topic of surrogacy motherhood has become a notoriously controversial issue, people may disagree with the bond it breaks between the infant and biological mother. However, if it gives people a second choice when they can’t conceive, shouldn’t it be a blessing? Imagine growing up your whole life dreaming of a family, you find the love of your life, you get married and now you want your own children. You try and try again but you are told you can’t conceive. Now what? Do you just give up, start the long and tedious adoption process, or go for the alternative…Surrogacy. It may not be the most ideal situation but it is an option that many couples take.

In the U.S. alone, infertility affects 7.3 million people, one third is caused by problems in the female, one third by problems in the male and one third by unknown factors. To some, it’s devastating to find out that they can’t have children of their own on their own. Many go through in-vitro fertilization but even that doesn’t always do the trick. There are two types of surrogacy, the first is traditional when the surrogate is inseminated with the sperm of the intended father or a donor and the resulting child id genetically related to the surrogate. The other option is gestational when an embryo is placed in the surrogate and the child is not genetically related to her. Alex Kuczynsk described the experience, “Exhausted by years of infertility, wrung emotionally dry by miscarriage, my husband and I decided we would give gestational surrogacy — hiring a woman to bear
our child — one try. It was a desperate measure, to be sure, and one complicated by questions from all the big sectors: financial, religious, social, moral, legal, political.” (New York Times- Her Body, My Baby. November 28, 2008.) Many couples ask themselves these questions and many take the plunge and begin the search for their surrogate.

Infertility isn’t the only reason for surrogacy, same sex couples also want their own children, although it is not both of theirs it is better than adoption. So some take the route of choosing a woman to carry their child. This process may be done in one of two ways, the first being an open program where the surrogate chooses the potential parents and the parents choose the surrogate and they meet and interact closely. While the other option is a closed program which would be where the parents and surrogate receive pictures and information, then only meet once. The parents receiving the baby aren‘t the only ones that gain. The surrogate mother also receives her own set of well-worth benefits. One being that she usually receives a decent amount of money to carry the child, about $25,000- $35,000. She also gets the feeling of being a hero to the family. Making a virtually impossible dream come to life. Also, usually, they aren’t just shut out of the baby’s life after they’re born, they may receive updates and pictures and some even become life long friends with the couple. The most important reason though, that wonderful feeling they must get when they see the wonderment in the eyes of the parents, to see their dreams come true all because of the selfless act they chose to do.

While the acceptance of surrogacy is rising there are still many people that oppose it. The cost alone may be one contributing factor for couples not to choose it. On average
it costs from $20,000 - $120,000. But can you really put a price on your child? Other
oppositions are over religion, “Reproductive technology raises the question of whether it is proper for science to interfere with natural reproduction. Jerry Falwell argues against surrogacy on the grounds that "God’s way is still the best way." The Vatican instruction
argues that reproductive technology tempts man "to go beyond the limits of a reasonable dominion over nature." (Christian Century, The Religious Response to Reproductive Technology, January 4, 1989) Science is involved in everything, that is just our way of life now a days. Finally, moral complications can happen when using a surrogate mother. One such instance would be the surrogate becomes attached to the child and doesn’t want to give it up. The solution to this would be to have a contract written up prior to any insemination. If you desire children there are ways to make that desire come true, it may not be a sure-fire plan but an option is an option.

So imagine bringing to the world a new life, a life that just brightened another person’s life. A life that will grow and flourish, a life that exist because of you. Or imagine you are receiving that bundle of joy, your dreams have finally come true, due to science and a magnificent soul. Just because something is unconventional doesn’t mean its unworthy.





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