The Invisibles

September 26, 2010
By , Waban, MA
I started making myself throw up in the fifth grade. I know now that I was extremely depressed and that was the one thing I could control to some extent. It was a rough time for me. I came from a small elementary school where everyone knew each other and, being a former geek they pretty much shunned me.

I only told my best friend, pretty much my only friend, about my problem. She didn’t believe me at first but then she started acting weird and I knew she was going to tell her parents. The next day I told her I was joking. I think she wanted to believe me more then anything so she just sort of forgot about it.

This went on for almost three years. My mother, the person who lives in the same house as me, never noticed, never became suspicious. My little sister, the girl who shares a bathroom with me, didn’t notice. She still doesn’t know. I just can’t tell her. My friends didn’t notice when I went to the bathroom straight after lunch for three years. That’s what hurt me the most.

Finally by the end of seventh grade I told my guidance consoler who called my mother. She was sad of course. How would you feel if you knew your child was damaged goods? Yet after a week or two she seemed to forget about it. She got me a shrink and that was that.

Thankfully I’m better now and haven’t made myself throw up in a long time but what scares me is that I could. And no one would notice.

When people do things like this it’s because something’s not right. They may no say it but they are crying out for help. It’s so insanely obvious if you know the signs yet so many people just ignore it.

So my message is this. Please if you even suspect something tell someone you trust. You could save a life. Please, please don’t just look the other way

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Dragonscribe said...
Oct. 19, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I agree with you. I'm not fat, but not skinny. I've wondered, although I don't think I could make myself throw up, wow - if I just skip a couple meals a day I'll look so much better. I never do it though, and I know I shouldn't. I am sorry no one has noticed your problem and am glad you have stopped. Maybe you should talk more about it to your mother, but of course it's easy for me to say. I will pray for you and promise never to look the other way when someone is suffering like that. God bless you.
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