I Didn't Eat

June 27, 2010
By Anonymous

I was a sneaky one.
I was going through a really hard time in my life only a few months ago.
My baby brother, my favorite out of the three brothers I was blessed with was lost. He didn't die, but he was autistic. He stopped talking, stopped play, stopped giving kisses. He had turned into....a shell of the baby I once knew.
I was also in love. I had been with the same guy for almost a year, until we broke up. Why did we break up? I still don't really know. Just the feeling of being with someone and then...not...killed me.
My mother and I were having major issues. I had even left my house for two days because I couldn't handle her.
My bestfriend started doing drugs and drinking. She knew I wasn't into that kind of stuff and I tried getting her to stop. She wouldn't, she was a new person.
I was getting bullied. I was said to be gay(I wasn't) and was girlfriend to a good friend of mine. Mean girls from my school would come up behind me and touch my butt or party boy me. The teachers didn't care, these were the "It" girls.
Not only all of that but I was supposed to be the "good" child. The one who was top of her class. A simple B would not cut it. I hd to get a high A on every report card and every test.

So I changed myself.
I would wake up and my morning meal would be on the dinning table. I would listen until I could hear the water running from my mother's morning shower then take the food outside and throw it away.
For lunch all I would do is eat turkey on plain bread, no drink. I only did that so my friends wouldn't say anything about me not having a lunch.
At dinner I would sit at the edge of the table, it was easier to throw food to my dog from there. Only about half of the food on my plate made it into my mouth.

At night I would workout for an hour and a half, sometimes more. I did this to burn off the food that I eat throughout the day. I would run, do push-ups, sit-ups and really anything I could think of.

Of course my actions had horrible results. I started loosing my hair. It would be about from my roots to where my hair ended long and around two-fingers-put-together wide. About five or six of these came out each time I showered. I couldn't sleep aswell, causing me to not be able to focus during school. My body also used to shake.

I did end up telling my mother about what was happening with my hair. She took me to the doctor and I had lost 15 pounds in one month.

The scary part is, I didn't do it because I wanted to be skinny. I was just so stressed out I didn't want food.

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