I Hate Myself This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

December 22, 2009
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I stared at the mirror and a tear trickled down my face. It was the kind of feeling where all the pain inside you that you had been pushing down far into your chest, trying to bury it so it couldn’t escape, came out in a rush. Tears swelled up and came out in an angry rush. I crumbled to the floor barely breathing and sobbing uncontrollably. Steadily, as I lay on the floor crying in a heap, the tears slowed down so they were soft and quiet. Crying released some of the anger but not enough. I stood back up and stared at the mirror again, getting angrier and angrier as each second passed. I wanted to smash the mirror in hopes that while smashing it, I would smash myself with it. I hated myself. There was no other explanation for this pain. I don’t see the beauty in any part of me. My eyes brimmed a dull solid reflection of pain. It was a low so low that I would never wish this upon any of my enemies, or any of the worst people in the world. And at that moment, I knew I had to release this pain- the only way I had trained myself to. It was a vicious cycle but it was life. I reached in the drawer and pulled out my razor blade; the best friend I could ever have. And thus: the cycle continues and life goes on.





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Shawna L. said...
Mar. 26, 2010 at 9:03 pm
It's not the only way....I know it seems like it but there are better ways to deal with your anger...I hope you find them
 
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