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i'm living a nightmare


This is not a story. it's not some fairytale with a happy ending or a beautiful love story. this is a nightmare. no once upon a time, no middle, and no happily ever after. a article with none of the above may be hard to believe but it's true. this is an article about a 15 year old girl living in a box so no one can see how ugly she really is. and if you can't stand scary stories then i strongly suggest that you don't read this.

now that i think about it i guess scary isnt the right word but that word is for you to replace. i guess i should start whith the roots of my problems. root number one: my pairents got divorced when i was only five. i thought wedding vows sqid "and as long as you bolth shall live". well i guess i was wrong. root number two: i dont quite remember if this was before the divorce or after but i think it was after. anyway my little sister came into the world. little did we know that she would become such a monster but i will tell about that later. finely root number three: my mom just ignored me. all she did was adore that little thing and didnt really play with me but atleast i still had my dad.

then my life fell apart. we had to sell our house and move into a small, and i mean small, apartment. i was so so mad. i resented my mom more than ever. we got into fights all the time because my sister wouldn't leave me alone and the cops were called every time. then one night i ran away for three or four hours. they were so worried. who knew?! not lond after that i got so mad i beat my sister and the state said i had to leave them. i dont think my mom cried very much. so my grandpairents took me, i started a great school, and mad some good friends.

let me guess you dont think this is creepy at all. well not yet. eighth grad came around and i still wanted nothing to to with my mom and was so hurt that i exploded. i tried to kill my self twice and i would get these spells that would control me. i couldn't break free of them. i would get mad and speek out of my head and just go insane. the worst part is, i cant remember them at all. i cant remember anything that happened. it felt like i was in a room filled with smoke and couldnt find my way out and when i would it would be like "oh where did this scratch come from". i would cry for hours.

then my sister ended up in a mental hospital. she is ADD and ADHD and manic depressive. then my dad started smoking again and then my mom and i arnt on good terms and then my dad hit me and then..... it never ends. it just.....my pain just wont go away. i scream all the time and no one listens. i hurt and no one comes to my aid. i am dying........one person saved me. only one person ever helped me. his name will not be mentioned and if i could only find a way to thank him.

and now i am bipolar. life just never stops giving me lemons. i am living in a box covered in dust because i have hid for so long and i just want to come out. but it's not safe. heck I'm not safe to be around. love is so far gone that i feel pain all the time. I'm living a nightmare...... and this is only the beginning.




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This article has 10 comments. Post your own!

krd505 said...
Oct. 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm:
People shouldn't be afraid to just be how they are. No one is perfect; everybody is different in some way. Nobody's life is great; they always have mistakes in them. Everybody should just try to think before they take further actions. 
 
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WritingMarie said...
Mar. 13, 2010 at 6:03 pm:
if you ever need help please tell!
 
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crazy123 said...
Jan. 31, 2010 at 6:16 pm:
That was really well written and it was a great article. I know that must of been hard to write, but you really should check your spelling before you write something serious like that.
 
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isaacp This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 7, 2009 at 8:21 pm:
I have many friends with bipolar. I'm very sorry. I suffer from many of the same symptoms of bipolar, but I don't technically have it. You might want to check your spelling though before posting about a serious topic.
 
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KiraKira said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 8:56 pm:
I am so sorry. I know that these may seem just like words, but trust me when I say there is always something to live for. With every dark shadow there is a light. Some people seek out religion as a solace. I personally don't, but I don't say that I don't recommend it. Also, writing helps. If you can't tell anyone, tell your reader. Good luck. You'll pull through.
 
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13islucky said...
Oct. 21, 2009 at 10:26 pm:
Omgosh you are in my parers and if ur being honest about this is real....I hope you get into a church and Jesus
 
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auna123 said...
Oct. 17, 2009 at 1:44 am:
life has its ups and downs. dont feel to bad you are never alone. i usually try to stay on the brighter side of life it helps a lot. its not good to look on the bad parts in life. hope your life turns around. good luck :)
 
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HannahM This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 2, 2009 at 8:03 pm:
Hey, praying for you.
 
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brianj said...
Sept. 24, 2009 at 4:19 pm:
Life is tough, and we all have our problems. One thing we must learn is that it can always get better. You have to make it better. Your story is so true, and I respect that you're not afraid to tell it like it is. I was very impressed with your beginning sentence, "This is not a story. it's not some fairytale with a happy ending or a beautiful love story. this is a nightmare." However, one problem I noticed is that you tend not to capitalize the beginning of your sente... (more »)
 
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lyannieKID said...
Sept. 24, 2009 at 1:46 pm:
hey, your story is really good.
i actually like it, it kinda reminds me of me. haha
 
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