Reflection of Her Past

June 7, 2009
By , Unknown, NY
1. Were you in shock when you saw the garage light suddenly flicker on?
2. Was your heart racing when you heard the car doors slam shut?
3. Was it hard to try and throw on all of your clothes before being seen undressed?
4. Why didn’t you try and hide when his parents called for him from the doorway?
5. Did you think that they would just continue on with their lives and leave their son alone?
6. When you heard them walking up the stairs, were you afraid that you would be caught in a matter of seconds?
7. Did they walk, unexpectedly, into his room and ask why you were on his bed?
8. Were you blushing a bright red when they saw you half naked?
9. Were you scared when they began to scream at him?
10. Were you ashamed of yourself?
11. Were you worried when they decided to call your parents?
12. Did you get into an argument with him after his parents finally left the room?
13. Did you get into another argument when you were in the car with your parents?
14. Was the lecture annoying when they began to give you ‘the talk’?
15. Did you stomp up the stairs when you finally got home?
16. Did you slam your bedroom door and fall on your bed?
17. Were you crying into your pillow?
18. Did you know it was him when you heard your phone go off?
19. How did you feel when you read his text message?
20. Did you slam your phone against the wall in anger or just because you were upset about the situation?
21. Did you ever think that this would all end well?
22. Did you ever think that you were gonna get caught?
23. Do you now regret doing that?
24. Do you wanna talk to your best friend about it?
25. Or do you think she will judge for what you did?
26. Do you think she will be mad that you betrayed her friend like that?
27. Do you just wanna be alone now?
28. Were you angry at yourself when you heard your parents arguing about what you did, and how they can’t believe you would do something so irresponsable?
29. Were you upset that you were the reason that they were arguing once again?
30. You know that they have marital issues as is, but was this what triggered you to crying even more?
31. Did this help you fall to asleep and to forget all of what just happened?
32. Was what you did the cause of your dream?
33. Did you ever think that you would have a dream about having a child?
34. Did you ever think this dream would actually be brought to life?
35. Did you ever think about using a condom to prevent any unexpected births?
36. Do you think that you would be a good mother?
37. After a few weeks, did you rush to the closest store to grab the box labeled ‘Pregnancy Test’?
38. Where you happy to become a mother?
39. Or were you upset about it?
40. Do you think he will help support you and your future child?
41. Do you know if he’d just leave you and make you take care of the baby all by yourself?
42. Why did you begin to breakdown again?
43. Was it because you haven’t talked to him since that night?
44. Was it because you didn’t know if he wanted to help take care of the baby or not?

45. Was it because you were mad at yourself for what happened a few weeks back?
46. Or was it because you let him take advantage of you when deep down inside you knew you weren’t ready for something like that yet?
47. Did you want to continue on with having this baby?
48. Or did you want an abortion?
49. Have you decided on a day to talk to him again about this, to see if he would willing to put his life aside to become a father?
50. Or are you just trying to put it off, afraid of any upsetting responses from him?
51. Are your parents gonna help you get though this?
52. Or are they too angry to talk to you, let alone look at you?
53. How are you going to cope with this?
54. Do you think you will be able to earn enough money to help support your baby?
55. Would you have to drop out of school to take care of your newborn?
56. Do you think you can stand the sleepless nights?
57. Can you stand the constant crying?
58. Would you know if it wanted to be fed?
59. Or if it wants attention?
60. Can you live with having to change dirty diapers all the time?
61. But knowing all that, why did you decide to keep the baby?
62. Was it because you couldn’t live with the burden killing an innocent life?
63. Or was it because you wanted to take of something as precious as a baby?
64. Was it hard having to live nine months with her growing inside of you?
65. Were you delighted when the doctors put her into your waiting arms?
66. Were you angry when you were alone in the hospital room?
67. Were you angry at him when he didn’t decide to come see the birth of his own child?
68. Did you have an overwhelming urge to just scream at him to see why he could do something like that to you?
69. Or was the presence of your baby eating that feeling away?
70. When you saw his features in her face, was this what made you cry again?
71. Did you feel lonely?
72. Was it because he abandoned you for your best friend?
73. Was it because your parents weren’t there to see your baby?
74. Did you ever think that you would lose the love of your life, your best friend, and your parents all from this?
75. Did you ever think that you would be sitting in an empty apartment trying to take care of your child on your own?
76. Did you ever think having a baby would cost so much?
77. Did you every think you would end up broke?
78. If you had know that your parents would have kicked you out, that your best friend would abandon you, and that the father of your child would all forget about you, would you take it all back?
79. Or would you leave things the way they are for the sake of having a small life of your own to take care of?
80. Was this what caused you to protect your baby as much as you possible could; the fear that the same thing would happen to your precious Anna?
81. Was this the cause of you to constantly look over her shoulder?
82. Was this the cause of your child to become sick of you as she grew older?
83. Did this cause you pain when she went behind your back and did the same terrible mistakes you’ve done in your past?
84. Did you go through the same talk your parents had with you when you were caught having sex?
85. Did she storm up to her room as well and lock the door behind her?
86. Did you bang on the door trying to explain to her the consequences of her mistakes?
87. Did she ignore you by turning up her music as loud as she possably could?
88. Did you feel hopeless about the future of your child?
89. Did you feel that you didn’t get anything through to her?
90. Do you think that she’ll end up like you, a reflection of you past?
91. Would she end up with a child at a young age?
92. If so, would you be able to live with yourself?
93. Would you feel like a horrible parent?
94. When you attempted to take her to the doctors, did she refuse?
95. Did this cause the two of you to grow further apart from one another?
96. Do you now feel the pain your parents felt?
97. Do you suffer as the days pass by knowing that you’ve now given up on all hope?
98. Do you struggle day by day as you see Anna come home at all hours of the night and with the smell of tobacco and drugs rolling off of her skin?
99. But knowing you can’t get through to her, why do you decide to just let her be and have her do things her way?
100. Do you think she’ll ever come to her senses and change her bad ways, or do you think she would end up like you, or even worse-dead?





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

rawr5 said...
Nov. 24, 2009 at 1:03 pm
omfg iLOVEthis!!!!
keepwriting you'rreally good:)
 
RavenousRhinos replied...
Nov. 24, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Thanks, I really appreciate it. =]
Actually, this is one of my favorite stories that I've written so far.
 
LectorS said...
Oct. 28, 2009 at 5:05 pm
A very powerful writing!
 
leigh96 said...
Oct. 21, 2009 at 12:28 pm
wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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