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Enough Is Enough

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I never really had an eating disorder.....well at least in my head. My friends and family would always tell me how skinny and pretty I was, but it wasn't enough for me. Inside, my life was roller coaster I couldn't wait to get off of. Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of becoming a big supermodel like Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum. I loved to drool over fashion magazines and wish I was as skinny as the models in the magazine. But I was skinny, I was 120 pounds, and most of it was height, but for me it wasn't enough, it would never be enough.




My life was at a high point, I was getting good grades in school, I had tons of friends, and home life was okay. But one day as I was looking inside a fashion magazine and saw one of my favorite models in it. When I read the article on her, it mentioned that she was a meer 110 pounds at 5ཇ in height. I was torn. I felt huge that instant, I never really had problems with my weight until that day. How was I going to become a model, like her if I was so fat? She was older and taller than me, yet still skinnier, and that was the start of it all.




I decided to go on a diet, I would just try to lose ten pounds then I could go back to regular, skinny Sidney. I began eating smaller portions, adding more fruits and vegetables to my diet, but it didn't work, I still found myself snacking late at night. I hadn't reached my goal, months had gone by, and I needed a plan B. So I made a decision to start skipping lunch at school. I'd eat a regular small breakfast and dinner, but skip school lunch. Sometimes I'd sit in class starving wishing I could just wolf down some of last nights left overs, but I knew that'd ruin everything. I'd just remain fat the rest of my life! Whenever my friends asked why I'd skip lunch, I'd make up an excuse, like my stomach hurts, or I had a big breakfast.


Although the results were beginning to show after my lunch skipping and active lifestyle, it still wasn't enough. People were definetely noticing the changes, they'd always compliment how good I looked. That may seem like it would've helped, but it just made things worse. I started to think maybe people were complimenting me because they thought I looked fat before, or maybe they'd compliment me even more if I lost a little more weight. So I started cutting out breakfast, too. My parents started to notice my drastic weightloss. I started at 120, then 109, and then 98, finally 90 pounds! They told me I needed help, they no longer fell for my excuses, they were on to me.


In the summer, after school was out, my parents sent me to a rehab in Phoenix, Arizona. I had a really good time there, I got a chance to meet other troubled teen girls with eating disorders and finally realize I had problem. My advice to girls with weight issues is thats its not worth it! It justs causes more problems with your family and this disease has caused me to lose many friends over the years. It also causes several health problems.





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pinksage33 said...
Aug. 9, 2009 at 3:13 pm
This is SO true. Great work.
 
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