A box

No one straight out told me I had cancer. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe flashing lights or someone writing it in the sky. I finally found out when someone brought in my notebook of information. They also carried a box in and set it down on my bed. Cancer 101. Straight talk from teens. At the time I hated this box. Now I realize and accept that I have cancer, and I probably would not have appreciated flashing lights or writing in the sky.

This all started in the Emergency room at Holzer Hospital in Jackson. The doctor there found out that I had a 22 centimeter tumor in my stomach. He then had an ambulence take us to the E.R. at Children's, where I spent the night and was admitted the next morning. This has been my first experience with hospitals, I've never spent the night in one prior to this. After a biopsy the doctors told me it was connected to one of my ovaries and that it would require chemotherapy and surgery to remove. I have been assured that there is a 90% chance that it will all be gone after one surgery. I am no longer in school, they requested I be put on home instruction. I will get to go to prom and walk at graduation.

I feel i am doing a pretty decent job of keeping it cool during this rough time. My family and friends are very supportive. This time really shows you who truly cares for you.

I've been working on some schoolwork, as much as I can. One assignment was for the school newspaper. Senior Prophecies. it started out, "In ten years,". This led me to think, 'where will I be in ten years?'. I realized that this is truly unknown to everyone. For example, I thought I had my life planned out perfectly before I was told that I have cancer. Now everything has been put on hold. For a while it felt as if I did not even exist because my future, or my perception of my future, was taken from me. It felt so unfair. My family has assured me that I will still get to attend college, even if it is later than I hoped for. Also, that everything will be okay. I am trying my hardest to keep my head above the ocean of negative thoughts in my life, but sometimes it is hard not to be tempted to soak my feet every once in a while.

After pondering for a while, I sucked it up, quit thinking negatively, and wrote my prophecy.

"In ten years, I see myself still in school, but for different reasons. This time I will be the one teaching instead of being taught. I see myself cancer free, and more noble because of my rough experience in life. I also see myself married to the guy I love. I'll have a nice house with a pond in the yard and a cute little boy running around in spiderman underwear pretending to be a super-hero."





Join the Discussion

This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

Hay_Wire This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 15, 2009 at 12:55 am
wow.. i get it now.. good luck.
i liked the peice, good luck and God bless.
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback