Into The Green Green World MAG

By Unknown, Unknown, Unknown

   Dear Diary, April 11th

I'm having a slight problem. Well, it started as a small problem, but now it's grown out of bounds. You see, I itch, constantly.

When I first began itching, I thought that it was something simple, like an allergic reaction to the laundry detergent. So I changed my detergent, and my soap, and my powder, and my skin lotion. But nothing helped. So, I've made a doctor's appointment. Perhaps he'll be able to tell me what is wrong.

Dear Diary, April 21st

I'm sorry I didn't write sooner, but I was waiting for the results of the tests. They all came back negative, and the doctor doesn't know what's wrong. He gave me some cream anyway, but of course it didn't help. So I've made an appointment with a naturopathic doctor. That's the bad news.

However, I have made an important discovery. My skin doesn't itch when I wear all natural clothes, such as 100 percent cotton, only when I wear synthetic fibers like polyester. And when I touch a plant, pure heaven!

Actually, I can't credit that discovery to myself. It was Sylvia, my friend who's so into plants, who gave me some aloe vera to put on a particularly bad rash. And did it help. My skin soaked up the aloe vera in minutes, and the rash felt so much better. Maybe I don't need to waste money on another doctor after all.

Dear Diary, May 3rd

I never did go to that doctor, as the problem seemed to heal itself. I simply changed to all cotton clothes (but what a lot of ironing!), and put on aloe vera every day. I use all natural soaps and detergents, and everything is better. Oh, and one more thing. I don't eat meat anymore.

Dear Diary, May 22nd

I've taken up gardening. What a joy it is to be outside with the sun on my back and fresh dirt in my hands!

I planted peas and lettuce and broccoli as my cold crops, but Sylvia says not to be surprised if the broccoli doesn't work. She's had trouble with it herself, as there are insufficient nutrients in the ground.

Dear Diary, June 7th

The peas are beginning to come up, and I am in love with those tender little green shoots. They are so delicate and lovely, reaching their fragile leaves up to the sun with the trust that it will warm them. I love nature!

Dear Diary, August 12th

Two strange things happened today. One is that a piece of dead skin fell off, and the new skin underneath had a distinctly greenish tinge! My friends who saw it wondered if I'm getting sick, but I feel fine.

The second strange thing is that, all of a sudden, I had the biggest urge to get up and move to the mountains. I want to have nature surround me, to be able to look out my window and see the trees waving and hear the birds singing. I know it is crazy, but this feeling is really strong, and I actually went in to a real estate office and looked at a catalogue of homes in the mountains.

Oh, one more thing. The garden is FABULOUS! Sylvia is surprised at how well I did for the first time, but it just feels so natural to me. I think she's jealous.

Dear Diary, August 17th

My friends think I'm crazy. "What about your job?" cries Joan, reminding me of the promotion I just got.

"But the garden is in full bloom," says Sylvia. "You can't just leave it."

"But your lease goes till the end of the year," Dana reminds me. But so what? I want to move to the mountains!

Dear Diary, August 31st

This green skin thing is continuing, and I've taken to wearing long sleeves and pants. I'm really hot, but what does it matter as I'll be leaving here next week.

Yes, it's true. I found a small house (it's really a cabin) nestled right in the mountain, and I've bought it.

I can't stop dancing with excitement, even though it is so small I'll have to put most of my things in storage. But who cares? I'll live like Thoreau with only a bed and a chair. It will be enough to make me happy.

Dear Diary, November 25th

This is the last time I'll be writing, so I ask you to forgive the amount of time between entries. But really, more important things have been happening, as I will now tell you.

This is my third month in the mountains, and my last day in human habitat. Because this green skin has completely taken over, I find the need to hide from human eyes and questions.

Actually, I am happy as I am, But let me go back a little in time so if anyone ever reads this, they can know the whole story.

I put most of my things in storage, and moved out here in the beginning of September. I puttered around for a while, just enjoying nature. I didn't get a job right away, and by the time I found I needed to make money to buy food, I realized I was no longer hungry.

And it would have been very hard to get a job, as I no longer looked completely human, for my skin was a definite shade of green. And as the days continued and my skin got greener, I realized that it was not that I no longer needed food but that I got my nutrients from another source.

I am green like the plants I walk among, and like them, I get my nutrients from the sun.

So now I am shedding my clothes, taking leave of human life, for I no longer think I belong to that race. If people saw me, they might think I'm an alien, and I'd be inclined to agree.

Good-bye, human world. My time here has been short, but sweet. Now I leave, and I have no regrets, for this is not my world any longer.

To those who come after and read this tale, believe it or not, as you choose. But if you see a shadow gliding through the trees, know it might be me. n

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This article has 2 comments.

i love this so much!

ciarra_paige said...
on Feb. 4 2010 at 9:48 am
Yeah i thought this was just a little ridiculous. I mean you went from human to plant? Weird.


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