Blackened Waters MAG

September 27, 2010
By Dackary SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
Dackary SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." - Former president John F. Kennedy


Her waters once glistened
Blue jeweled waves
Were sheathed in satin.
Only now have the waves have been weighted.
The slick, thick, grasp of a monster
Has tangled wings,
Killed fish,
Rotted roots of mangrove trees.
Slowly treading blue,
Moving closer to eroded shores,
Unforgiving.



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This article has 4 comments.


on Oct. 10 2010 at 2:18 pm
"Only now have the waves been weighted" not "have been weighted" I'm also confused as to where the scene takes place... You say in your notes that it was about the problems rooted in the Gulf, but this sounds like a polluted ocean or something in that nature... If it is indeed about an ocean or the gulf, then you shouldn't add mangrove trees, because there aren't any in the gulf or in the middle of the ocean. If you follow these few critics then your piece could be close to superb writing. Congratulations on the win, i guess.

on Oct. 3 2010 at 9:58 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Yes, I loved this! Beautiful imagery. Don't have any criticism...

on Oct. 3 2010 at 9:40 pm
elmosoreo SILVER, Paducah, Kentucky
8 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you....

Oo :( So sadd :( I've seen affects of the damages caused to mangrove trees and teh wildlife :( aw :( wonderfully described

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Oct. 2 2010 at 7:16 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

I love how it sounds feminine and very descriptive. Even though I'm not a nature person, I definitely felt bad reading this.


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