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To Shoot A Gun

By
Hiding
on the trigger side of the rifle
her shifting elbows
leave the lollipop sights
unaligned:
but after squinting both eyes
she fires.
In her delighted fingertips
is mind
she, too, can touch.





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Midnight_Hum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm

wow

I really liked this.

However the last part

"In her delighted fingertips

is mind

she, too, can touch"

seemed a little off.

Especially the 'is mind'.  I don't know if you were going for 'mine' instead or if you actually meant 'mind' as in brain or conscious.  If that's so, then I think 'is a mind' flows a lot better.

But that is just me :)

 
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