Behind Her Smile | Teen Ink

Behind Her Smile

October 26, 2016
By Thisisreal_life PLATINUM, Manhattan, Kansas
Thisisreal_life PLATINUM, Manhattan, Kansas
48 articles 3 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"so do it. Decide. Is this the person you want to be? Is this the life you want to live? Is this the best you can be?"
"I survived the fire because the fire within me burns brighter than the one around me"


Do you see that girl over there?

Yeah, she's smiling. But behind that smile, she's falling apart.

She's been promised forever, but was only a few months. She's been sworn love, which turned into hate. She was told so many things, and now she's broken.

She's broken because she believed.

She believed in forever, that she was loved. She trusted the words that hid the lies. Who could blame her? She has a good heart, and when you have a good heart, you give, love, and trust too much, and always get hurt the most.

Sometimes, when she's alone, she thinks about how easy it would be to end her pain forever. It terrifies her, yet intrigues her. she is becoming desperate. She wants the pain to end- No, she needs the pain to end. Pain is temporary, yes, but hunger is too, right? Just like any other emotion or feeling, pain is temporary, but it will almost always be back for seconds.

 

She screams, she cries, she asks herself, 'Why me?' but she doesn't give up. She knows she can get through this. She's so strong, even when she is on the ground, crying her heart out. All of the hate and sadness within her swirls around like a storm that threatens to consume her. She's been so close to going under so many times, yet she stands here today.

She's strong because- Deep down within her- she's believes.

She believes in hope, that one day, she'll be free from all the pain. She believes in trust, that to give is to have. She believes in all the things that have been stolen from her.

So yeah, she's smiling. That doesn't mean she's happy. Okay, she's laughing. That doesn't make it funny. Sure, she's breathing.

That doesn't mean she's alive.

You see that girl over there?

You don't know what she's been through, you don't know her story. Keep your mouth shut, unless you're helping her up, not knocking her down.

Think about that the next time you judge her, or anyone else.


The author's comments:

I was reading a quote that said, a fake smile can hide a million tears, and it made me think, 'How many people do I see everyday that look happy, but aren't really happy?'

I began writing a little, and this happened.

I hope that people reading this realize how much labels and words can hurt someone, even if it looks like it doesn't. When you put a label on someone, they begin to believe it, and they become somthing they're not. words hurt! Help people up, not down...


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This article has 5 comments.


on Jul. 31 2018 at 12:54 pm
Jujuforever PLATINUM, Sacramento, California
20 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
let down your walls and be free...

i absoloutly loved this, i totally felt it. the emotion purs from the screen. you're writing style is very pretty and very amazing i would lov to collab sometime.

on May. 10 2017 at 10:56 pm
DarkRayne PLATINUM, Garden City, Idaho
35 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I swear dude, one day, i'm gonna get off the bus and run into the forest, and i wont come back, and when i do, i'm gonna be the knife master." ~The Rev

i would like to discuss more poetry with you, may i have your email so we can better know each other @_.briyonam.g._ it would be great to speak to you more

madi88e said...
on Nov. 2 2016 at 5:50 pm
madi88e,
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is a very emotional and deep subject and I think you portrayed it very well. I really like how you didn't give her a background story so we can all see ourselves in her and learn from our mistakes. Overall I really liked it!

on Nov. 1 2016 at 6:59 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

Overall, this is a powerful and well-written piece. The message of this work comes across really well, and is one I think needs to be talked about more. I got chills right near the end, with the set up to "That doesn't mean she's alive." You wove that section together very fluently. You also do a great job keeping the length of sentences different, which helps the writing flow. I don't know if it was intentional, but your integration of purposeful repetition added to the pace of the writing. There's a lot of awesome things happening here! As for critiques, there's only a few small things I can suggest. In general, be careful for unwanted repetition of words, which can make the flow of the writing more choppy. Yes, repetition can be a good artistic thing, but sometimes too much in close proximity can take away from the writing. In that second paragraph, the first line "She's been promised forever, but forever wasn't really forever" sounds a little repetitive to me. Some rewording or a thesaurus can usually help solve that problem. The only other thing I noticed was to be careful with grammar. There were a few spots with capitalization errors and other small things that didn't detract from the piece but are always good to polish up. Altogether, you did a great job! Your writing has fluency and can get a strong message across. I hope this helps, and keep writing! :)