In the fall, children and teens return to school. It's the time of year everyone dreads except the parents. By the end of the year, summer has finally arrived and everyone is ready for a break. We hit the beaches and search for that summer love. Eventually summer ends, the fall has come again.
As I stood at the curb, staring into the depths of high school, I knew nothing could prepare me for the rough road ahead. Time carried on, the first day, second day, third and before I knew it midterms had arrived. Half way through the year and I had already developed an eating disorder.
The typical freshman of high school in Maine plays sports, joins club, and strives for excellence. That was me. Nearing my birthday in march, and the sadness strengthened my struggle. I quit sports, left my friends, and isolated myself. My bedroom was the safety zone, but even there I felt alone and depressed. The fear of my parents reaction to my unhealthy state kept my from admitting the truth. Conditions worsened. I finally spoke out and shed the mask.
One day, the kids at school started teasing me, using me, and insulting me. Their words hurt me. The sting left undeniable scars and thoughts of suicide. In every life there is death, but not before you've lived and loved.
The end of the year is near, excitement to escape the horror. The kids at school would regularly threaten me for answers, yell at me, and tell me I'm worthless.
When walking home from school, I talked to myself as if I were berating the bullies. I yell "Stop! Why are you mean? I don't deserve this!" and maybe someday I'll be awarded a silver medal for having the courage to stand up to these bullies.
Why are they bullies anyway? They must have horrible lives to take it out on me. The little they know of me, isn't enough. If only they knew who I really was and all of my own struggles. Maybe the bullies would realize my life isn't so different from theirs and everyone else's.
In my eyes, life is only lived in happiness. If I had three wishes, I would use only one. I wish I could find happiness in forgiving others and myself. Life is driven by love. I find love in happiness and being content. Then, in time, once I've lived happily, forgiven and loved...death will be not an enemy and neither will the bullies.