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Friend No More

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Hey, I thought that you used to be my friend
There was a time that you were so sweet to me
But that changed after I started dating
You made him out to be your enemy

You told me that he was all wrong for me
And when I didn’t listen, you got mean
You tried to make fun and put him down
But we all could plainly see your jealousy

Hey, I thought that you used to be my friend
I kept saying that the comments had to stop
But then you turned and slurred at me
And started to throw darts at my heart

One day the snide remarks went too far
My boyfriend and I finally got an apology
You had tried in vain to boost your ego
Instead it showed your immaturity and insecurity

Hey, I thought that you used to be my friend
But toxic friendships are meant to end
We both need time for our hearts to mend
So goodbye, my ex-best friend



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This article has 30 comments. Post your own!

SteelersJdog said...
Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:57 pm:
Wow, I'm glad that I'm not the only person to have this happen to. Fantastic job of writing a relatable topic in a poetic and artistic form.
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:14 am :
Thank you - I like your work too!
 
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OldYoungOne said...
Feb. 12, 2013 at 3:24 pm:
It's missing something. I think you could had more of a flow to it or maybe add some.... I don't really know but there is something missing to where I can't connect with the poem or embrace it completely....
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:15 am :
I tried to make it as blunt and concise as possible. Maybe I should have spent more time on it.
 
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HeatherSemb said...
Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:14 pm:
This is good, it explains the story very clearly and I like it because I think a lot of people can relate to it. Maybe use a little more imagery to really show poetic launguage. But overall, it was really thoughtful, I enjoyed reading it (:
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 23, 2013 at 10:58 pm :
Thank you so much!
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:07 pm:
This is another kind of bullying I guess, I like the way the poem goes .... but you sure could spice it up a bit. And the last line is epic yet heart-breaking..I wish I never have to say goodbye to my bestie....
 
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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 4:43 pm:
The rhyme is irregular, and I think you could have used more imagery, but I REALLY Liked the last two stanzas! I think by going back over it and refining it could leave you with a very good poem:)
 
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thatunknownthingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:28 am:
This piece is okay, as your theme is quite moderate in it's strength, and I feel you could have put it down in a better way. There is an irregular rhyme, and the words are too plain, nearly like a ficiton narration, there's no flow of 'poetry'. So the poem's not very engrossing, there's room for more improvement. Try getting a better flow by writing poems on mundane things, like a pen or a laptop, that may help. the first line of each para, "hey, i thought..."... (more »)
 
Soccer23 replied...
Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:49 pm :
I actually can relate to this quite a bit. I'm going through the same kind of stuff. But i love the last to stanzas. To improve this poem i believe that you can add some more imagery. But overall, I liked it. Especailly since it is very relateable
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 23, 2013 at 11:01 pm :
Thank you for the honest criticism and review. I guess I was more focused on just telling the story clearly and didn't put a lot of fancy touches on it.
 
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