You judge me every day because of what I did. You look at me like I'm some sort of stupid crazy freak. Even though it's been almost 4 or more years you still go on about it like it's yesterdays news and tomorrows drama. You think that I did it because I'm an insane teenager and I admit I'm insane at times. I've been told I should die because of what I did. I've gotten so much hate mail and a few threats and a thousand restricted calls. And I used to think that no one cared or could help me. And I started to think for a while that I was truly alone and maybe I was insane. Then I realized I am insane. I'm insane for letting a bunch of ignorant a**hole idiotic middle/high school kids get to me. I have my whole life ahead of me, waiting to be explored. So many doors waiting to be open for me and only me. So you spend your time thinking of new ways to upset me and get to me. I'll spend my time getting my life together and making a good future for myself. Some of you felt sorry for me. I had a few friends try and cheer me up, out of pity and sorrow for me. But I don't want your sympathy anymore. I don't need your help. And honestly, I think you're the ones who need help. You made me into some kind of monster when you didn't even know why I did what I did or what actually happened. The truth is so hard to get to know when you keep interrupting my side of it. My version. My reasons. And it's mine not yours. Please remember that. So go ahead and do what you will, say what you will. In the end I won't worry. Because even though I lost 3/4 my friends and everyone turned against me. And even though I can't make new friends or regain old ones because of that. I'm not worried anymore. And I'm not feeling sorry for myself anymore. Actually, I feel sorry for you. All of you who made my life hell. Because one day you're going to do something stupid and trust me you will with karma in the air. And when you do something stupid and everyone talks about it you'll feel what I felt. You'll endure what I had to for years. Well maybe not as much or as long. But when you come begging for forgiveness, I won't be there. Because you don't deserve it.
July 26, 2012