In the mind of a Bullied Victim

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In the mind of a bullied victim

I am your psyche. It's always shocking to know I am traveling through your brain. A dark pathway narrow and scary full of so much negativity, that I have created. Everyday I aimlessly walk to find some light, but it's an endless and hopeless journey. Day after day it’s as if it becomes darker and darker. As if my creations are becoming too dark for even me to handle. I don't know who you are, but I feel for you. The things I hear are just plain vicious, but it is how I get my inspiration. I hear what you hear, I feel what you feel, and I see what you see. I become your worst nightmare, the tortured and false version of you. When you think of me, you break down and cry. You constantly wish you had absolutely nothing to do with me. Unfortunately for you the day you created me, I became permanently ingrained in your minds. From the day, fat, ugly, stupid, poor, and retarded, became adjectives to describe you, and you began believing it, you signed that contract to permanently have me inside your head. Now as you face everyday I constantly remind you how right your tormentors are. How you are each and every one of those negative things people call you, and how you deserve the constant torment. As each and everyday becomes darker in your mind, I dim the lights even more. When you are crying I comfort you with more reasons to cry. In fact I’m the one to push you to grab the blade and cut. I’m the one who agrees life would be better without you around. I assure you that you will not be alone as you take your own life. Unfortunately like everything else that’s a lie. When you succeed, our contract no longer applies. I don't die with you. I move to the mind of a new person, who also believes the things their tormentors say. I am your psyche. I blur your visions so you see the things I want you to see. I’m primarily the reason the things your tormentors say seem so believable, and so real. My day to day job isn't always so bad; it usually depends on how outside forces affect me. As in your days depend on my mood. Unfortunately because bullying is so prevalent my days are continuously much darker. Also even if an early end to a contract does not take place or you overcome the torment, I will always be in your head. I’m that disgusting image of you fighting to break free to mentally break and destroy you. Bullying isn’t just a person saying or doing things to bring a person down; it also becomes a personal battle for a victim. Victims constantly never know what to believe; to which they become detrimental bullies to themselves. This epidemic needs to end too many deaths of this preventable

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SparaxisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 1 at 12:14 am
I hated those days in middle school! All the preppies find ways to make me look stupid...
Nated315 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 9, 2014 at 12:06 pm
This is an awesome way to put everything!!!
SparaxisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jan. 1 at 12:14 am
What Nated315 said. :)
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