Youth is such a rough part of our lives, there are so many struggles we deal with in our daily lives. Some may be harder than others but one thing we all have in common is that we all feel the loss and loneliness.
I'm 16 years old and I'm about to go into the terrifying adult world that I have despised the past 3 years. I'm afraid and have no clue on what I want to do with my life. I always struggle with finding a passion and feeling that I'm behind from everyone who has goals or knows what to do with there lives.
It scares me that I cant find that one passion that I see other teens around my age have. sometimes they fake that they have a passion and a dream to shut their parents up or to feel secure with themselves but deep down in their heart. That's not what their dream really is.
trust me, I made up a dream of my own that I honestly felt no passion for because I just wanted to make my mother happy. In end I felt more unhappy then I already was.
its a constant battle for me to find this flying dream, a goal in life. I woke up everyday feeling like I have no reason to exist that I'm just existing to live a meaningless life. I wanted to find this dream so bad but I don't want to get a job that makes me do the same thing every day that it becomes dull and meaningless. I couldn't find anything I wanted to do as a career. I cried alone a lot in my room at night for the feeling of uselessness. I hated myself for not finding this career or dream I want. The world was changing and I wasn't changing much I felt I was stuck in the past as I watch others find themselves, I guess you may call it a depression.
Like many of us or maybe just me, instead of dealing with our problems we get so frustrated with the world expectations and ourselves, we block it out and focus on other things to distract us.
For me I got into a Korean Boy group known as BTS, they became my comfort for my youth struggles. I feel they understood me and are able to put hardships I face into music. which I'm grateful for but I come to the conclusion I got too wrapped up in their lives and used them to run away from my own I got lost in myself. Which wasn't what my group wanted any of there fans to do at all.
I'm sure ya'll have that one obsession wither it be celebs or anime. we cant put it down because it gives us comfort, it numbs that feeling of loneliness of not knowing what to do with our future or just escapes that fact is that where growing up and were not ready to let go of our childhood yet.
I'm not saying to leave your crushes or obsessions behind, just the fact is one day soon we will grow out of phases and we will have to face the person we look in a mirror. We should focus on ourselves and live our lives not focus on in any other lives. we need to find ourselves so that we can find that dream and passion that we all are destined to find.
Everyone has a dream wither it's big or small it's still a dream. we will find it.its just locked in your heart somewhere that's just waiting for the right moment to spark the light in you. where-ever you may be in this world. I just want to tell you; You're not alone, I know this pain and struggle your feeling. I feel the same way, but don't give up on yourself you WILL find your goal. it just sometimes it takes longer than others. We can consider ourselves as late bloomer that will catch the world off guard someday soon and we can show the world our beautiful petals.