Friends. I poured my heart. Friends. I loved you. Friends. You'll read this, as my friend. I'm not bad talking you, your my friend. I wish it wasn't like this, but we're friends. You told me those things last night, cause you want to be my friend. I appreciate that, cause that's what friends do. We tell each other everything. Nothing needs to be hidden right? Even if it crushed my heart, you wouldn't do that on purpose, we're friends. I'm only a tad embarrassed, but that wasn't your intention, was it? No, no possible way it could have been, we're friends. I love you, as more than a friend. I wish you were mine, as more than a friend. I wish we could grow old, as more than friends. I wish we were more than friends. But your my friend. That's all that matters. Friends are understanding, but I'm not. Friends don't wait forever, but I would. Friends don't love each other more than the quota of just being friends, but I do. I guess I'm not such a great friend, huh? I wish life was simple, but it's not. I wish I could know what was going through your mind, when you told me those things, that's what friends do right? Tell each other everything? We have a complicated relationship in my head, but then again, I am a complex individual. You told me it consumed me, I didn't really comprehend that well, I guess you implied the thought of us being together clogged my mental decisions, and consumed me. I guess you were right, I think, that's called hope. I hoped, I looked forward to the future, for the first time. Then you told me otherwise, but it's OK, because we're friends.
I hate that word.
May 7, 2011