Life in Boston, As Told by Bumper Stickers This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

December 8, 2010
Caution: Driver just doesn’t give a sh** anymore. The closer you get the slower i drive. Go ahead and pass me, see you at the traffic lights! I’m not going slow…the clown in front of me is. You think I’m slow? I can go slower. I’m only driving like this to piss you off. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! I Brake for Tailgaters. I Brake for Yankee Fans. I Brake for…Oh sh**, No Brakes! Die tailgater Scum! I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Road Rage: Next 10 miles. You’re driving slow, are you on a cellphone? Guns don’t kill people, drivers with cellphones do. I like Trucks. Is there life after death? Touch my truck and find out. I had a Life, but my job ate it. Yes, this is my truck, no I won’t help you move. I’m busy, your ugly, have a nice day. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. What would Scooby do? Caution: I speed up to run over small animals. Lost your cat? Try looking under my tires. Jesus loves you, however everyone else thinks you’re an A**hole! A**HOLE not just a word, a lifestyle. C’mon, Give me the finger LIKE YOU MEAN IT. You can’t spell OveRpAiD without A-Rod. Don’t Drink and Drive, You might hit a bump and spill your drink. U.S Marines, I’m a chick magnet. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship. It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. I’m not perfect, but parts of me are INCREDIBLE. If SIZE doesn’t matter, how come I’m so popular? REMEMBER MY NAME, You’ll be screaming it later. Marathon: a footrace of 26 miles, 385 yards, a contest of endurance, the triumph of will over reason. Hey, I LOVE kids, I’m just not having any. Don’t drink and park, Accidents cause people. A boss is like a diaper, always on your butt and full of crap. More taxes on businesses = lower pay and lost jobs, do the math and keep the change. Uncle Sam wants YOU, TO SPEAK ENGLISH. If you can read this thank a teacher. If It’s in English, thank a veteran.

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